DIGNITY, DIMINISHED OR EMPOWERED?

*When I asked one of my clients how her work was going, her response was, "I feel so unimportant, like I don't really matter."

*Another client reported to me that during team meetings the leader regularly shouted at everyone whenever there was a mistake. "How do people feel?" I asked. He said, "Totally diminished or totally angry."

*Another client said with sadness, "I don't think my supervisor has ever complimented me or given me appreciation for all my hard work once since I've been here. I feel totally unvalued."

*One client, when I asked about how she was feeling, went on to downplay and berate herself with very negative words. She became aware that her self talk was highly destructive to her sense of self and worth. No wonder she had disengaged from work and was on the verge of quitting.

When our human dignity is diminished--whether from others or from ourselves--we either "fight back" in order to hurt the one diminishing us, or we withdraw, become depressed, and hold it all inside, often blaming ourselves.

Either way, people get hurt and damaged. Stress rises. People disengage. They lose motivation. And ultimately they burn out with no reserves for resilience.

Human dignity is vital to the workplace!

We need our dignity to be acknowledged by ourselves (by shifting our own negative self talk) and by others (by shifting to a more positive way of behaving and communicating with each other).

What could you do to increase your own sense of personal dignity? What could you do to empower someone else's dignity? What a different workplace we would enjoy if that could happen every day.

Leaders Cannot Be Successful Without This Quality

I finished a coaching session with a leader this week and then reflected on what I heard. She essentially had a boss who did all the talking while she did all the listening. There was so much she wanted to share for him to understand her viewpoint and experience. But he never opened up the opportunity.

This is often too typical in the stories I hear. And the tragedy is that not only is it diminishing to workers but it's also counter-productive to every bottom line at work.

This quote is from an outstanding article about how managers can manifest empathy in the workplace. Here’s the link: “What Does It Mean to Be a Manager Today?” It will help you realize how important empathy is for a leader and some practical ways to live empathy.

The following are some qualities & behaviors I’ve seen that empathy intentionally engages in:

1. Empathy listens more than talks.
2. Empathy tries to understand the context and experience of the other person so as to feel what the other person is feeling.
3. Empathy strives to build trust by being trustworthy.
4. Empathy believes in the capacity of the other person in a way that elevates rather than diminishes.
5. Empathy comes along side of rather than standing aloof.
6. Empathy celebrates others' successes as well as feels disappointment from failures in a nonjudgmental way.

Imagine what the workplace could be like with leaders who had this kind of empathy.