THE LEADER'S HIGHEST PRIORITY

Do you know what one of the most significant prerequisites is for successful leadership? I am personally convicted by this truth.

Self-awareness that leads to self-management.

One of the great leadership and management gurus of our lifetime, Dr. Peter Drucker, made this observation in his work with leaders:

"You cannot manage other people unless you manage yourself first."

I can certainly resonate with this truth in my own life as a leader! It's a challenge because as leaders we're always wanting higher levels of productivity and results and we push our teams to go there. So that's what we prioritize with our time.

I've seen the need for self-awareness and self-management in the lives of 100s of leaders I've worked with, too.

And yet the most important relationship we will ever have in this lifetime is our relationship with ourself.

How can a leader empower others to be their best version of themselves if the leader never takes the time to manage themselves?

This summer I chose to take a sabbatical for the sole purpose of reengaging in some strategic self-reflection. I have spent literally hours and hours during my sabbatical journaling and in conversation with trusted people in my life about who I am and can be more of:

*What are my best strengths, *how can I deepen my emotional intelligence, *in what ways can my purpose and mission shift to be more effective, *how I can more adequately articulate my purpose and mission in this world, *in what specific ways can I improve my way of being with others around me, *what are my blind spots, weaknesses and growth points, *what brings me the most joy and fulfillment in my work, *and what mindsets and beliefs do I need to let go of to be more of who I can be?

I want to bring to my work this Fall the very best, most authentic, courageous, confident, fulfilling, and powerful self I have - the highest version of Me - knowing that I am fully human, won't always be my best, needing patience for myself, but I can still stay on the path of my calling and purpose.

I challenge you to reflect on yourself in ways that empower you to manage yourself. So that as you manage your relationships with the people you serve you will increase their trust and satisfaction with you as their leader as you empower them to be their very best. This is what I want for my life, too!

A CRUCIAL MISSING ELEMENT IN LEADERSHIP TRAINING

There's a part of leadership development programs that isn't often being addressed adequately.

The older I get, the more life experience I possess, the more I'm realizing the significance of increasing personal consciousness and awareness of self. What does it take to bring more peace inside myself? Can I identify the elements in my internal world that feel at war with each other and why are they at war--parts like what my ego wants or what my soul wants; what my insecurities are and what am I doing to deal with those; and how are my insecurities manifesting themselves in my relationships with self, others, and my general attitude toward life; which parts of my inner world are most motivating my actions and behaviors; how can I bring myself to a higher level of contentment and joy about who I am and how I am with myself and others; what kind of leadership am I providing the people I serve.

Trust me, leaders deeply need to understand these personal issues if they want to be effective and transformational leaders with the people around them (including their families). If there is a war inside us between these varying inner elements (voices and needs) and we haven't learned how to manage those inner conflicts, as Thich Nhat Hahn reminds us, we will undoubtedly push the battle outside of ourselves (in order to mask our inner turmoil) into the relationships around us, including the people we love.

Having worked with people all my career, I have seen the trails of battle victims left by so many leaders (and I know this from my own personal experience). We can't afford not to address our inner conflicts and needs - to understand ourselves, our capacities for good and for not so good, to bring peace into our inner selves - so that we can be facilitators of loving, kind, compassionate, and unselfish yet confident and bold leadership.

Leadership development programs need to be sure to include the leader's internal world and sense of self. Only then can leaders become the transformational presence people are hungering to follow.

Authenticity Is Your Key to Your Greatest Joy & Impact

One of the great memories of my adult life took place in the middle of Kansas. I was driving my family in our Ford van to a cabin down by Shuttle Creek Lake (a place we enjoyed getting away to from time to time during our Lincoln, NE days). As we drove up to the edge of the plateau that wound it's way down to the lakeside, the view across the lake was stunning. It always made me feel like I was back in the Puget Sound region near Seattle, looking across a large body of water with rising hills in the background.

I was listening to John Barry's Movie Themes recording (one of my favorites). The music was so evocative as only his music can be. Descending the hill, I suddenly saw a picnic table off the road with a perfect view. I reacted almost immediately, instinctively, from deep within my soul, without rational thought. I stopped, opened up the van doors, turned the music volume up REALLY loud, got out of the van and jumped up on top of the picnic table. I began waving my arms and hands to the rhythm and feeling of the music, completely lost in myself, as though I was being possessed by the orchestra conductor.

My kids were watching, their mouths ajar. "Dad has really lost it this time," I'm sure they must have been thinking.

But in that moment, and to this current moment, that experience of totally losing myself in the scene and the music and spontaneously acting it out without fear, shame, or second thoughts, is one of the most authentic and deeply joyful memories of my life. I was completely unobstructed by cultural pressure and expectations. I simply was being Me, expressing Me from my depths.

e e cummings is so right. We live in a world that is constantly trying to mold us into its sense of right and expectation.

To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody but yourself - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight - and never stop fighting.”

Be more of this, Be more of that, Don't be this, Don't be that. Dial it down. Dial it up. And before we know it, we've lost our true, most authentic selves. And we end up losing our deepest joy and greatest impact.

Your authenticity is your place of greatest joy, fulfillment, confidence, power, and influence. Don't be molded by others. Be yourself. The world needs you to be YOU! And if you want to know what that Self of yours is, this is the work I do all the time. It's one of my greatest joys, esp when John Barry music is playing in the background. 😉

RECHARGING: Developing a New Culture at Work

Imagine this upcoming reality - electric cars will be 40% of all new cars by 2030, and by 2040 every new car sold globally will be electric (report in BBC). Talk about a new world coming - for the sake of progress with climate change and our environmental challenges.

And guess what? For this new electric world to work, there will need to be recharging stations everywhere and easily accessible at any time of day. Recharging won't be a luxury; it will be a necessity in order for the EV's to get anywhere and everywhere and be useful.

Why is it that we as humans have developed a culture at work and beyond that says human recharging is an add-on to life? Here’s the way Arianna Huffington puts it:

“We need to stop thinking of recharging as a reward we get for working hard and burning "out.”

It's treated as a reward for working hard and burning out. People wear busyness as a badge of honor. The busier you are, the more important you are. Rest and recovery are for people who don't possess the strength to keep going--only the "weak" need to factor in recharging, and only after you've proven you're a hard worker.

But here's the truth that most of us know to be true and yet don't always apply: Humans are designed to need rest, recovery, recharging daily in order to enjoy being fully human and fully alive.

We need to recharge at different stations along the highway of life - at any given time:

• some of us need a nap,

• others need to stop to self-reflect to develop more self awareness,

• others need to take a vigorous walk,

• others need to enjoy a hobby,

• others need to be with friends,

• others need to be in nature,

• or read a book,

• or sing a song,

• even our vacations need to be strategically diverse in how we spend that time.

Different activities provide different kinds of positive energy. We need to make strategic choices based upon our current energy needs.

You get the point: though our recharging stations will look different from each other at times, the goal is still the same - we must recharge our batteries of energy to be fully alive.

If we don't, there will be a lot of abandoned "EVs" scattered all over the world simply standing still, burned out, unfulfilled, and purposeless in an emotional & relational climate disaster. That's not a world I want to live in. What specific recharging pause do you most need in your life these days?

DIGNITY, DIMINISHED OR EMPOWERED?

*When I asked one of my clients how her work was going, her response was, "I feel so unimportant, like I don't really matter."

*Another client reported to me that during team meetings the leader regularly shouted at everyone whenever there was a mistake. "How do people feel?" I asked. He said, "Totally diminished or totally angry."

*Another client said with sadness, "I don't think my supervisor has ever complimented me or given me appreciation for all my hard work once since I've been here. I feel totally unvalued."

*One client, when I asked about how she was feeling, went on to downplay and berate herself with very negative words. She became aware that her self talk was highly destructive to her sense of self and worth. No wonder she had disengaged from work and was on the verge of quitting.

When our human dignity is diminished--whether from others or from ourselves--we either "fight back" in order to hurt the one diminishing us, or we withdraw, become depressed, and hold it all inside, often blaming ourselves.

Either way, people get hurt and damaged. Stress rises. People disengage. They lose motivation. And ultimately they burn out with no reserves for resilience.

Human dignity is vital to the workplace!

We need our dignity to be acknowledged by ourselves (by shifting our own negative self talk) and by others (by shifting to a more positive way of behaving and communicating with each other).

What could you do to increase your own sense of personal dignity? What could you do to empower someone else's dignity? What a different workplace we would enjoy if that could happen every day.

A CALL FOR MORE DEEP LEADERS

I was sailing with a few friends in the San Francisco Bay a few years ago with the intent to sail under the Golden Gate Bridge and out into the open seas. Before reaching the iconic bridge, suddenly a huge gust of wind hit our sails and we heeled over so far the water was rushing into the cockpit. It felt like we were going over.

Until we didn't.

A sailboat is designed to have more weight below the waterline than above it. Thank you, keel. That huge "weight" attached to the bottom of the boat is what provides a counterbalance to the force of the wind. It takes an uncanny amount of wind to knock a sailboat completely over. And even then it can often right itself. More weight below the waterline. That's called ballast.

Richard Foster, one of the great spiritual writers and teachers of the 20th century, made this statement (quoted in my book "The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your life in a World Obsessed with Busyness").

“The desperate need today is not for a great number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.”

He's referring to the importance of paying more attention to what is "below the waterline" of our lives than to what's above. His call is for leaders to intentionalize personal development, character depth, integrity, wisdom; rather than a mono-focus on the things people can see--the outward appearance. We create more ballast and internal weight with this strategic focus.

Our positive impact on the people around us--our teams and peers, our families and friends--is directly determined by our personal ballast and depth.

Character. Wisdom. Vision. Integrity. Honesty. Compassion. Kindness. Empathy. Courage. Persistence. Authenticity. These are developed first on the inside and then revealed on the outside.

What practices do you engage in regularly to deepen your internal world, your character and authentic self?

The Power of Example from Leaders

LEADERSHIP, VULNERABILITY, & EMPATHY

I remember the days when the leader showed up in meetings and felt the pressure to be the smartest in the group. Leadership was all about authority, intellect, and a commanding presence. And vulnerability was seen as weakness.

But today is vastly different.

Leaders lead with authority and influence, not from being the smartest in the room, but from being willing to be vulnerable, transparent, and empathetic. To admit they don't know everything. The leader begins the transformation process of culture first by their own example. Perfectionism is out, progression is in.

Example is what is what creates culture.

Our example is what provides permission in the workplace for others to share about what they're feeling, what they're needing, what help they're secretly hungering for.

This is the only way a culture of wellbeing can be created and sustained for the sake of everyone. This is the kind of leader I want to be. How about you?

Here's a great article that talks about the significance of addressing wellbeing in the workplace and the leader's role. A must read! https://lnkd.in/gs5B7Nk

Leaders Cannot Be Successful Without This Quality

I finished a coaching session with a leader this week and then reflected on what I heard. She essentially had a boss who did all the talking while she did all the listening. There was so much she wanted to share for him to understand her viewpoint and experience. But he never opened up the opportunity.

This is often too typical in the stories I hear. And the tragedy is that not only is it diminishing to workers but it's also counter-productive to every bottom line at work.

This quote is from an outstanding article about how managers can manifest empathy in the workplace. Here’s the link: “What Does It Mean to Be a Manager Today?” It will help you realize how important empathy is for a leader and some practical ways to live empathy.

The following are some qualities & behaviors I’ve seen that empathy intentionally engages in:

1. Empathy listens more than talks.
2. Empathy tries to understand the context and experience of the other person so as to feel what the other person is feeling.
3. Empathy strives to build trust by being trustworthy.
4. Empathy believes in the capacity of the other person in a way that elevates rather than diminishes.
5. Empathy comes along side of rather than standing aloof.
6. Empathy celebrates others' successes as well as feels disappointment from failures in a nonjudgmental way.

Imagine what the workplace could be like with leaders who had this kind of empathy.

2 Leadership Lessons from the Grand Canyon

It’s hard to express with adequate words the awe & wonder of the Grand Canyon & Colorado River. The Grand Canyon is one of the 7 natural wonders of the world and I can see why.

Majestic. Stunning. Rugged. Ancient. Raw. Massive. Prehistoric. Beautiful. Exquisite. Bold. Fierce. Unforgiving.

As a result, our 7 day trip through the Canyon produced some transformational experiences for me—here are 2 that stand out:

1. Be unplugged more. It was incredibly centering & grounding to my mind, heart, body, and soul to be off-the-grid for a full week. The simplicity of life in the wild is profound—a reminder of how much we can live without in our need to survive and even thrive in the world. We wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, drink water, go hiking and rafting, eat snacks, drink water, have conversations throughout the day, set up camp, eat supper, drink water, apply body lotion to dried up skin, go to bed, and sleep. A fundamental existence.

   Yet the beauty of the stars at night, the sunsets, sunrises on the massive rock monuments all around, blooming desert foliage & creatures, sun and blue sky, cold refreshing wild emerald river—all these wonders are worth soaking into one’s psyche at every moment. It just can’t happen in a worthwhile way if we’re continually distracted by all we plug into in our daily lives.

2. Be more present. Both the absolute silence among the rocks as well as the roaring water and wind kept me focused on the present moment. When you’re doing rock climbing up a slot canyon, all you’re thinking about is the vital body positioning & leveraging of your strength or else you drop to the stream or rocks below. Present moment. When you’re in the midst of the violent rapids, you’re focused on hanging on for dear life. The exhilaration & adrenaline of working hard to survive & succeed in this environment keeps you going on. Be Here Now is the natural motto.

One of the many beautiful waterfalls in the Grand Canyon. The water was freezing cold but so refreshing!

I was reminded daily how significant it is to be fully present in the moments of life. How much unnecessary energy we use up obsessing over the past or the future. We lose the joys of the present moments.

One of the keys to good leadership is empowering our people to experience the Now in tangible & productive ways. To be present with each other. To listen to each other. To appreciate and respect each other. To express gratitude for each other's positive contributions to right now. And to do this, leaders need to be unplugged during moments with their teams. Don’t let your technology or other distractions keep you from focusing on your people in the important moments of their daily lives.

Imagine what a game changer this would be for the culture of our teams & workplaces. Be Here Now. Unplugged. "In this moment we have everything we need." Let's lift ourselves & each other up. That's what good leaders do.

“In this moment I have everything I need.” So Be Here Now.

HEALERS & LEADERS Need Nurturing Too

I spent the first half of my adult working life in the people-helping industry as a pastor. It didn't take me long to notice that my colleagues and I, in the midst of all the caring, giving, and shepherding we continually gave to hurting, grieving, suffering, dying, and despairing people, often didn't have anywhere or anyone to go to for our own self nurture. In spite of all the talk, the organizational support was never adequate.

Healthcare is one of those industries that is facing a huge crisis - not just in patient care or in financial sustainability but especially in nurturing its caregivers.

According to a Washington Post-Kaiser Family Foundation poll:

• 3 in 10 health-care workers have weighed leaving their profession;

• more than half are burned out.

• 6 in 10 say stress from the pandemic has harmed their mental health;

• 1 doctor is dying from suicide every day (more than double that of the general population).

Burnout and Stress are not just an individual healthcare worker's problem. It's an organizational systemic issue that must be addressed wholeheartedly. Not just patient lives are at stake. So are the caregivers' lives.

The same applies to almost every industry.

If you are a leader, you, too, deserve support from your organization to provide all the tools and resources needed for your personal wellbeing. This is not a luxury. It is crucial to the success and effectiveness of everyone's work. It must become an organizational priority.

Here are some of the pressures that too often lead to chronic stress and anxiety and burnout. These are issues that every organization needs to address creatively and collaboratively.

• workload pressures

• staff shortages

• long hours

• lack of peer support opportunities and the time off needed for this to take place

• mounting paperwork and email exchanges

• expectation of being on call 24/7

• a stigma around getting mental health help

• not enough access to mental health therapies

• lack of autonomy and a voice in organizational changes

• more emphasis on productivity than self care (personal development)

• shortage of providing professional development and training for leaders

• fixing people instead of fixing systems

Every organization must address these issues that are tragically impacting leaders from so many industries. If they don’t, their people will continue to suffer and end up leaving as a result.

We have to care for the healers, too!

How to Break the Code of Positive Energy to Handle Stress

I've learned in my own experience that one of the keys to establishing resilience and stress management is to break the code of positive energy - learning how to hack our built-in "feel good and strong" neurochemicals that our brain releases into our body system.

Here's a list I came across of those chemicals and some simple activities you can engage in to experience their release throughout your brain and body.

Keep this list handy. Resilience and managing stress don't appear magically. We need to be intentional about accessing them via strategic stops in our busy lives. 😀

For example, one of my energy boosts is completing a task on my To Do list - when I check that "baby" off as Done I get a shot of dopamine feel good energy. And even if, upon review of my list, I realize that I completed something that wasn't on my list, I add it and then check it off. It always shoots me some dopamine. Love it!

For another example, I had a reader write me about this list, asking the question, “Where does playing a musical instrument fit into these four categories?” Great question!

If I’m practicing my piano I’m getting dopamine (being rewarded for my practice) or endorphin (the pain killer boost). If I’m playing for my mood I’m getting seratonin (the mood stabilizer). If I’m singing to my wife I’m getting oxytocin (the love hormone) and giving her an oxy boost too! Who knew music could be an all-encompassing chemical shot in the arm.

Have you noticed how any of these activities listed in the four categories have made you feel? Experiment to see what happens to your positive energy? What kind of a boost do you get? How does that activity make you feel? Are there other activities not on this list that might even combine all four neurochemicals as a boost to you?

Have fun with this chart! Remember, resilience and stress management, as well as happiness, don’t happen magically. You have the opportunity to be intentional about accessing those built-in boosts. So take some strategic stops away from the nonstop busyness and stresses of your life to give yourself a shot of “feel good” energy. You deserve a break today!

THE KEYS TO LASTING RESILIENCE

I was talking to a Healthcare executive today who owns an electric car. He made a very profound observation--the car is state of the art; but it's of no use unless it gets plugged in regularly. No renewed energy, no usefulness. It will limp down the road or be parked in the garage.

Building effective and lasting resilience is fairly simple: crack the energy code = pay intentional, strategic attention to what positively energizes you and then do them, often. Build your life around them.

Like:

• use your strengths.

• Know yourself and be true to yourself.

• Know your circadian rhythm and live by it.

• Focus on your purpose--why you're doing what you do.

• Express appreciation to yourself and others.

• Faithfully keep a gratitude list.

• Surround yourself with mutual social support.

• Speak up when it's important to you.

• Check items off your To Do list.

• Do something nice to someone else.

• Take meaningful breaks during the day.

• Day dream and do nothing at times.
  
  And the list goes on and on. The key is to make sure you’re doing what positively energizes and rebuilds your lagging spirit.
  
  Resilience doesn't come to us automatically and magically. We are the driver of our own unique resilience car. So let's make sure we're plugging in regularly and strategically.

EFFECTIVE RECOVERY IS MORE THAN JUST REST

Anyone feeling tired? How do we recover our energy during these exhausting days in a world that is speeding nonstop?

Recovery in our day-to-day busy lives means more than stopping. It's a dynamic & personal process that aims at restoring our energetic resources. And it's conceivably different with all of us--what will work for me might not work for you because our unique physiology, psychology and current life needs are different.

So here are some examples of personalized questions we can ask ourselves in order to shape effective authentic recovery:

1. What kind of rest do I most need right now--a short power nap, a music bath, a brisk walk around the building?

2. Do I need to work on some limiting beliefs that are draining energy from my life, or to change my self-talk in specific ways?

3. Do I need a few minutes of guided meditation? Or do I need to sit comfortably in silence?

4. Do I need a weekend filled with social activities or more alone time, or projects around the house, or relaxation, or more sleep, or reading fun books, or going for a hike in nature?

Recovery requires strategic self regulation and dynamic choices. Which of those needs appeals to you most in the midst of your busyness and feeling drained?

If you would like more content on this topic of strategic recovery, check out Chapter Two in my book “The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your Life in a World Obsessed with Busyness.” It’s available in Amazon and other book stores.

What Practice Successful Leaders Have in Common

If I've learned anything during the years of my life, I've learned that one of the most important attributes of successful leaders is the prioritization of the regular practice of self-reflection that leads to a rigorous self-evaluation. I've worked with 100s of leaders through the years and the ones who are most effective are those who choose to carve out strategic stops to learn more about themselves and how to live a more maximized and transformational life at home and at work.

Self reflection leads to increased self awareness that leads to self regulation and self responsibility which facilitates an honest and comprehensive self evaluation which produces better personal and professional growth. All of that doesn't just happen spontaneously. It happens by strategic intention and attention.

That's probably why so few people actually engage in self reflection. We're just too busy. We're a bit afraid of what we might see. We're not exactly sure how to go about it. It seems like a lot of work and energy. ...

Only those who engage in this vital practice are the ones who live life with greatest depth, breadth, and expanse of their true potential.

What's your intention for yourself and your teams this year?

For more details about this practice and how to go about it, you can read my book "The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your Life in a World Obsessed with Busyness." At the end of every chapter are two sections with directed questions for Personal Reflection and Team Reflection.

Time to Re-Evaluate Your Motivation & Resilience

It's January! A perfect time to think about evaluating and developing the motivation & resilience of your leaders, teams, and culture. After all, who knows what obstacles & challenges 2021 will bring (we sure didn't predict a global pandemic this time last year) that drain our energy and motivation!

The four qualities that increase your motivation and resilience, and so ultimately your effectiveness, are Competency, Authenticity / Autonomy, Connectedness, and a Psychological Safety that produces trust and commitment. How are you personally doing with these four characteristics and needs? How do your leaders, teams and culture measure up to these vital motivators? How would they score themselves in each of these four factors? How would they rate you as a facilitator of these qualities in them?

My speaking and consulting/coaching center around effective processes that train leaders to develop these motivations in themselves and their co-workers.

This is a great time of year to develop these motivations in your people to ensure that 2021 is successful and productive. Email me so we can connect. I'm happy to help! This is what I do.

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