DIGNITY, DIMINISHED OR EMPOWERED?

*When I asked one of my clients how her work was going, her response was, "I feel so unimportant, like I don't really matter."

*Another client reported to me that during team meetings the leader regularly shouted at everyone whenever there was a mistake. "How do people feel?" I asked. He said, "Totally diminished or totally angry."

*Another client said with sadness, "I don't think my supervisor has ever complimented me or given me appreciation for all my hard work once since I've been here. I feel totally unvalued."

*One client, when I asked about how she was feeling, went on to downplay and berate herself with very negative words. She became aware that her self talk was highly destructive to her sense of self and worth. No wonder she had disengaged from work and was on the verge of quitting.

When our human dignity is diminished--whether from others or from ourselves--we either "fight back" in order to hurt the one diminishing us, or we withdraw, become depressed, and hold it all inside, often blaming ourselves.

Either way, people get hurt and damaged. Stress rises. People disengage. They lose motivation. And ultimately they burn out with no reserves for resilience.

Human dignity is vital to the workplace!

We need our dignity to be acknowledged by ourselves (by shifting our own negative self talk) and by others (by shifting to a more positive way of behaving and communicating with each other).

What could you do to increase your own sense of personal dignity? What could you do to empower someone else's dignity? What a different workplace we would enjoy if that could happen every day.

A CALL FOR MORE DEEP LEADERS

I was sailing with a few friends in the San Francisco Bay a few years ago with the intent to sail under the Golden Gate Bridge and out into the open seas. Before reaching the iconic bridge, suddenly a huge gust of wind hit our sails and we heeled over so far the water was rushing into the cockpit. It felt like we were going over.

Until we didn't.

A sailboat is designed to have more weight below the waterline than above it. Thank you, keel. That huge "weight" attached to the bottom of the boat is what provides a counterbalance to the force of the wind. It takes an uncanny amount of wind to knock a sailboat completely over. And even then it can often right itself. More weight below the waterline. That's called ballast.

Richard Foster, one of the great spiritual writers and teachers of the 20th century, made this statement (quoted in my book "The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your life in a World Obsessed with Busyness").

“The desperate need today is not for a great number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.”

He's referring to the importance of paying more attention to what is "below the waterline" of our lives than to what's above. His call is for leaders to intentionalize personal development, character depth, integrity, wisdom; rather than a mono-focus on the things people can see--the outward appearance. We create more ballast and internal weight with this strategic focus.

Our positive impact on the people around us--our teams and peers, our families and friends--is directly determined by our personal ballast and depth.

Character. Wisdom. Vision. Integrity. Honesty. Compassion. Kindness. Empathy. Courage. Persistence. Authenticity. These are developed first on the inside and then revealed on the outside.

What practices do you engage in regularly to deepen your internal world, your character and authentic self?

THE KEYS TO LASTING RESILIENCE

I was talking to a Healthcare executive today who owns an electric car. He made a very profound observation--the car is state of the art; but it's of no use unless it gets plugged in regularly. No renewed energy, no usefulness. It will limp down the road or be parked in the garage.

Building effective and lasting resilience is fairly simple: crack the energy code = pay intentional, strategic attention to what positively energizes you and then do them, often. Build your life around them.

Like:

• use your strengths.

• Know yourself and be true to yourself.

• Know your circadian rhythm and live by it.

• Focus on your purpose--why you're doing what you do.

• Express appreciation to yourself and others.

• Faithfully keep a gratitude list.

• Surround yourself with mutual social support.

• Speak up when it's important to you.

• Check items off your To Do list.

• Do something nice to someone else.

• Take meaningful breaks during the day.

• Day dream and do nothing at times.
  
  And the list goes on and on. The key is to make sure you’re doing what positively energizes and rebuilds your lagging spirit.
  
  Resilience doesn't come to us automatically and magically. We are the driver of our own unique resilience car. So let's make sure we're plugging in regularly and strategically.

Self Reflection is not a Luxury or Option for Successful People

When is the last time you sat in stillness and reflected on who you are and how you are showing up in the world these days?

If there's ever a need for developing the art of self-reflection it's during these chaotic, uncertain times. The irony is that taking this time is actually counter-intuitive. We think we simply don't have the "extra" time--we are inundated with so many To Do's. We are tempted to look at self-reflection as a luxury or at best an option.

We live at a time in history in which we are literally bombarded with information of all kinds on a daily basis, Everyone and everything are competing for our attention. and now, with smartphones, we are never away from this assault. Consequently, we experience a kind of mental overload, overstimulation, and exhaustion.

“How can I ever take time to spend in quiet self-reflection? I don't have that time!”

When in fact, unless we take this time, we remain stagnant and in the end less creatively productive.

Our greatest personal power resides in self-reflection. Stepping back to see through the information smog to discern what is truly important gives us a clearer self-awareness so we can be grounded and centered in our authentic identity.

Here’s the truth: we skip this practice and pay the painful price of superficiality and mediocrity. Why? Because our greatest power resides in self-reflection that leads to authentic expression.

Learn to SEE you and then BE you. Then you will truly change the world. DO you.

Quote taken from Dr. Greg Nelson, "The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your Life in a World Obsessed with Busyness." Available via Amazon: https://lnkd.in/d3r3nhn. A great gift to yourself and to people who matter to you at work and at home.

LEADERS NEED THEIR FEELINGS, TOO - WHAT DO YOU WANT TO FEEL MORE OF DURING THIS CRISIS?

Every year I choose three feeling words that I want to feel more of during the year. I love doing this because it empowers me to be more intentional with my focus and my intentions. And with so much attention having to be given to surviving this coronavirus pandemic, I realize I need to stop often to focus on what empowers not just to survive but also to thrive emotionally, relationally, spiritually, and even physically.

My 2020 Feeling Words are Creative, Ease, Prosperous. Here's the way I define them:

I choose to feel CREATIVE - Unleashing my creative imagination, I fully express my self, my life, and my work. 

One of the big intentions for this word this year is to share more music in my work and life. Music has always been a huge way of expressing my self through the years. So I intend to use my music more. And I intend to take more "music baths" every day when I bathe my whole personhood in my favorite music.

I choose to feel EASE - Like the ebb and flow of the tides and the soaring of the eagle, I relax into the current of my life and work.

Sometimes, as a solopreneur and independent contractor, having to pay attention to all the varied logistics of running a business, I have felt "bogged down" and at times "overwhelmed" and "unrelaxed" with all the details. This word reminds me to do whatever it takes to partner with, collaborate with others who love doing the logistics ... so I can concentrate on the work I am called to do and love doing. I choose to "relax" into my "ease" more this year.

I choose to feel PROSPEROUS - I luxuriate in the flourishing and abundance of my life, work, and wealth.

Obviously not knowing on New Years day what lay ahead for our world with a pandemic coming, taking away much work and opportunities for financial sustainability, I realize this will be a more challenging word to feel. And yet, I'm reminded of the tremendous amount of "prosperity" I enjoy even in the midst of this crisis - my health and vitality, family, friends, people who believe in me and support and encourage me, and even the work I do have. Though money may be scarce right now and the coming months, I choose to feel "prosperous" in all these ways. Gratitude elevates this feeling word for me. So I will continue to step into gratitude in every way possible.

Feelings are the most powerful and effective motivators and creators of our behavior. If we start with what we want and choose to feel, our actions will more easily align and help create opportunities to feel them. 

What do you want to feel more of this year? What specific intentions can you identify that will help you feel those words more? Even in the midst of our domestic and global crisis, we can choose to feel more of what we truly want I order to be our best and fullest selves. We can choose to take strategic stops to pay attention to our feeling words, to remind ourselves of more of the fulness of our human selves. Nothing can take that away from us!