THE LEADER'S HIGHEST PRIORITY

Do you know what one of the most significant prerequisites is for successful leadership? I am personally convicted by this truth.

Self-awareness that leads to self-management.

One of the great leadership and management gurus of our lifetime, Dr. Peter Drucker, made this observation in his work with leaders:

"You cannot manage other people unless you manage yourself first."

I can certainly resonate with this truth in my own life as a leader! It's a challenge because as leaders we're always wanting higher levels of productivity and results and we push our teams to go there. So that's what we prioritize with our time.

I've seen the need for self-awareness and self-management in the lives of 100s of leaders I've worked with, too.

And yet the most important relationship we will ever have in this lifetime is our relationship with ourself.

How can a leader empower others to be their best version of themselves if the leader never takes the time to manage themselves?

This summer I chose to take a sabbatical for the sole purpose of reengaging in some strategic self-reflection. I have spent literally hours and hours during my sabbatical journaling and in conversation with trusted people in my life about who I am and can be more of:

*What are my best strengths, *how can I deepen my emotional intelligence, *in what ways can my purpose and mission shift to be more effective, *how I can more adequately articulate my purpose and mission in this world, *in what specific ways can I improve my way of being with others around me, *what are my blind spots, weaknesses and growth points, *what brings me the most joy and fulfillment in my work, *and what mindsets and beliefs do I need to let go of to be more of who I can be?

I want to bring to my work this Fall the very best, most authentic, courageous, confident, fulfilling, and powerful self I have - the highest version of Me - knowing that I am fully human, won't always be my best, needing patience for myself, but I can still stay on the path of my calling and purpose.

I challenge you to reflect on yourself in ways that empower you to manage yourself. So that as you manage your relationships with the people you serve you will increase their trust and satisfaction with you as their leader as you empower them to be their very best. This is what I want for my life, too!

RECHARGING: Developing a New Culture at Work

Imagine this upcoming reality - electric cars will be 40% of all new cars by 2030, and by 2040 every new car sold globally will be electric (report in BBC). Talk about a new world coming - for the sake of progress with climate change and our environmental challenges.

And guess what? For this new electric world to work, there will need to be recharging stations everywhere and easily accessible at any time of day. Recharging won't be a luxury; it will be a necessity in order for the EV's to get anywhere and everywhere and be useful.

Why is it that we as humans have developed a culture at work and beyond that says human recharging is an add-on to life? Here’s the way Arianna Huffington puts it:

“We need to stop thinking of recharging as a reward we get for working hard and burning "out.”

It's treated as a reward for working hard and burning out. People wear busyness as a badge of honor. The busier you are, the more important you are. Rest and recovery are for people who don't possess the strength to keep going--only the "weak" need to factor in recharging, and only after you've proven you're a hard worker.

But here's the truth that most of us know to be true and yet don't always apply: Humans are designed to need rest, recovery, recharging daily in order to enjoy being fully human and fully alive.

We need to recharge at different stations along the highway of life - at any given time:

• some of us need a nap,

• others need to stop to self-reflect to develop more self awareness,

• others need to take a vigorous walk,

• others need to enjoy a hobby,

• others need to be with friends,

• others need to be in nature,

• or read a book,

• or sing a song,

• even our vacations need to be strategically diverse in how we spend that time.

Different activities provide different kinds of positive energy. We need to make strategic choices based upon our current energy needs.

You get the point: though our recharging stations will look different from each other at times, the goal is still the same - we must recharge our batteries of energy to be fully alive.

If we don't, there will be a lot of abandoned "EVs" scattered all over the world simply standing still, burned out, unfulfilled, and purposeless in an emotional & relational climate disaster. That's not a world I want to live in. What specific recharging pause do you most need in your life these days?

DIGNITY, DIMINISHED OR EMPOWERED?

*When I asked one of my clients how her work was going, her response was, "I feel so unimportant, like I don't really matter."

*Another client reported to me that during team meetings the leader regularly shouted at everyone whenever there was a mistake. "How do people feel?" I asked. He said, "Totally diminished or totally angry."

*Another client said with sadness, "I don't think my supervisor has ever complimented me or given me appreciation for all my hard work once since I've been here. I feel totally unvalued."

*One client, when I asked about how she was feeling, went on to downplay and berate herself with very negative words. She became aware that her self talk was highly destructive to her sense of self and worth. No wonder she had disengaged from work and was on the verge of quitting.

When our human dignity is diminished--whether from others or from ourselves--we either "fight back" in order to hurt the one diminishing us, or we withdraw, become depressed, and hold it all inside, often blaming ourselves.

Either way, people get hurt and damaged. Stress rises. People disengage. They lose motivation. And ultimately they burn out with no reserves for resilience.

Human dignity is vital to the workplace!

We need our dignity to be acknowledged by ourselves (by shifting our own negative self talk) and by others (by shifting to a more positive way of behaving and communicating with each other).

What could you do to increase your own sense of personal dignity? What could you do to empower someone else's dignity? What a different workplace we would enjoy if that could happen every day.

A CALL FOR MORE DEEP LEADERS

I was sailing with a few friends in the San Francisco Bay a few years ago with the intent to sail under the Golden Gate Bridge and out into the open seas. Before reaching the iconic bridge, suddenly a huge gust of wind hit our sails and we heeled over so far the water was rushing into the cockpit. It felt like we were going over.

Until we didn't.

A sailboat is designed to have more weight below the waterline than above it. Thank you, keel. That huge "weight" attached to the bottom of the boat is what provides a counterbalance to the force of the wind. It takes an uncanny amount of wind to knock a sailboat completely over. And even then it can often right itself. More weight below the waterline. That's called ballast.

Richard Foster, one of the great spiritual writers and teachers of the 20th century, made this statement (quoted in my book "The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your life in a World Obsessed with Busyness").

“The desperate need today is not for a great number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.”

He's referring to the importance of paying more attention to what is "below the waterline" of our lives than to what's above. His call is for leaders to intentionalize personal development, character depth, integrity, wisdom; rather than a mono-focus on the things people can see--the outward appearance. We create more ballast and internal weight with this strategic focus.

Our positive impact on the people around us--our teams and peers, our families and friends--is directly determined by our personal ballast and depth.

Character. Wisdom. Vision. Integrity. Honesty. Compassion. Kindness. Empathy. Courage. Persistence. Authenticity. These are developed first on the inside and then revealed on the outside.

What practices do you engage in regularly to deepen your internal world, your character and authentic self?

The Power of Example from Leaders

LEADERSHIP, VULNERABILITY, & EMPATHY

I remember the days when the leader showed up in meetings and felt the pressure to be the smartest in the group. Leadership was all about authority, intellect, and a commanding presence. And vulnerability was seen as weakness.

But today is vastly different.

Leaders lead with authority and influence, not from being the smartest in the room, but from being willing to be vulnerable, transparent, and empathetic. To admit they don't know everything. The leader begins the transformation process of culture first by their own example. Perfectionism is out, progression is in.

Example is what is what creates culture.

Our example is what provides permission in the workplace for others to share about what they're feeling, what they're needing, what help they're secretly hungering for.

This is the only way a culture of wellbeing can be created and sustained for the sake of everyone. This is the kind of leader I want to be. How about you?

Here's a great article that talks about the significance of addressing wellbeing in the workplace and the leader's role. A must read! https://lnkd.in/gs5B7Nk

Leaders Cannot Be Successful Without This Quality

I finished a coaching session with a leader this week and then reflected on what I heard. She essentially had a boss who did all the talking while she did all the listening. There was so much she wanted to share for him to understand her viewpoint and experience. But he never opened up the opportunity.

This is often too typical in the stories I hear. And the tragedy is that not only is it diminishing to workers but it's also counter-productive to every bottom line at work.

This quote is from an outstanding article about how managers can manifest empathy in the workplace. Here’s the link: “What Does It Mean to Be a Manager Today?” It will help you realize how important empathy is for a leader and some practical ways to live empathy.

The following are some qualities & behaviors I’ve seen that empathy intentionally engages in:

1. Empathy listens more than talks.
2. Empathy tries to understand the context and experience of the other person so as to feel what the other person is feeling.
3. Empathy strives to build trust by being trustworthy.
4. Empathy believes in the capacity of the other person in a way that elevates rather than diminishes.
5. Empathy comes along side of rather than standing aloof.
6. Empathy celebrates others' successes as well as feels disappointment from failures in a nonjudgmental way.

Imagine what the workplace could be like with leaders who had this kind of empathy.

2 Leadership Lessons from the Grand Canyon

It’s hard to express with adequate words the awe & wonder of the Grand Canyon & Colorado River. The Grand Canyon is one of the 7 natural wonders of the world and I can see why.

Majestic. Stunning. Rugged. Ancient. Raw. Massive. Prehistoric. Beautiful. Exquisite. Bold. Fierce. Unforgiving.

As a result, our 7 day trip through the Canyon produced some transformational experiences for me—here are 2 that stand out:

1. Be unplugged more. It was incredibly centering & grounding to my mind, heart, body, and soul to be off-the-grid for a full week. The simplicity of life in the wild is profound—a reminder of how much we can live without in our need to survive and even thrive in the world. We wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, drink water, go hiking and rafting, eat snacks, drink water, have conversations throughout the day, set up camp, eat supper, drink water, apply body lotion to dried up skin, go to bed, and sleep. A fundamental existence.

   Yet the beauty of the stars at night, the sunsets, sunrises on the massive rock monuments all around, blooming desert foliage & creatures, sun and blue sky, cold refreshing wild emerald river—all these wonders are worth soaking into one’s psyche at every moment. It just can’t happen in a worthwhile way if we’re continually distracted by all we plug into in our daily lives.

2. Be more present. Both the absolute silence among the rocks as well as the roaring water and wind kept me focused on the present moment. When you’re doing rock climbing up a slot canyon, all you’re thinking about is the vital body positioning & leveraging of your strength or else you drop to the stream or rocks below. Present moment. When you’re in the midst of the violent rapids, you’re focused on hanging on for dear life. The exhilaration & adrenaline of working hard to survive & succeed in this environment keeps you going on. Be Here Now is the natural motto.

One of the many beautiful waterfalls in the Grand Canyon. The water was freezing cold but so refreshing!

I was reminded daily how significant it is to be fully present in the moments of life. How much unnecessary energy we use up obsessing over the past or the future. We lose the joys of the present moments.

One of the keys to good leadership is empowering our people to experience the Now in tangible & productive ways. To be present with each other. To listen to each other. To appreciate and respect each other. To express gratitude for each other's positive contributions to right now. And to do this, leaders need to be unplugged during moments with their teams. Don’t let your technology or other distractions keep you from focusing on your people in the important moments of their daily lives.

Imagine what a game changer this would be for the culture of our teams & workplaces. Be Here Now. Unplugged. "In this moment we have everything we need." Let's lift ourselves & each other up. That's what good leaders do.

“In this moment I have everything I need.” So Be Here Now.

HEALERS & LEADERS Need Nurturing Too

I spent the first half of my adult working life in the people-helping industry as a pastor. It didn't take me long to notice that my colleagues and I, in the midst of all the caring, giving, and shepherding we continually gave to hurting, grieving, suffering, dying, and despairing people, often didn't have anywhere or anyone to go to for our own self nurture. In spite of all the talk, the organizational support was never adequate.

Healthcare is one of those industries that is facing a huge crisis - not just in patient care or in financial sustainability but especially in nurturing its caregivers.

According to a Washington Post-Kaiser Family Foundation poll:

• 3 in 10 health-care workers have weighed leaving their profession;

• more than half are burned out.

• 6 in 10 say stress from the pandemic has harmed their mental health;

• 1 doctor is dying from suicide every day (more than double that of the general population).

Burnout and Stress are not just an individual healthcare worker's problem. It's an organizational systemic issue that must be addressed wholeheartedly. Not just patient lives are at stake. So are the caregivers' lives.

The same applies to almost every industry.

If you are a leader, you, too, deserve support from your organization to provide all the tools and resources needed for your personal wellbeing. This is not a luxury. It is crucial to the success and effectiveness of everyone's work. It must become an organizational priority.

Here are some of the pressures that too often lead to chronic stress and anxiety and burnout. These are issues that every organization needs to address creatively and collaboratively.

• workload pressures

• staff shortages

• long hours

• lack of peer support opportunities and the time off needed for this to take place

• mounting paperwork and email exchanges

• expectation of being on call 24/7

• a stigma around getting mental health help

• not enough access to mental health therapies

• lack of autonomy and a voice in organizational changes

• more emphasis on productivity than self care (personal development)

• shortage of providing professional development and training for leaders

• fixing people instead of fixing systems

Every organization must address these issues that are tragically impacting leaders from so many industries. If they don’t, their people will continue to suffer and end up leaving as a result.

We have to care for the healers, too!

THE KEYS TO LASTING RESILIENCE

I was talking to a Healthcare executive today who owns an electric car. He made a very profound observation--the car is state of the art; but it's of no use unless it gets plugged in regularly. No renewed energy, no usefulness. It will limp down the road or be parked in the garage.

Building effective and lasting resilience is fairly simple: crack the energy code = pay intentional, strategic attention to what positively energizes you and then do them, often. Build your life around them.

Like:

• use your strengths.

• Know yourself and be true to yourself.

• Know your circadian rhythm and live by it.

• Focus on your purpose--why you're doing what you do.

• Express appreciation to yourself and others.

• Faithfully keep a gratitude list.

• Surround yourself with mutual social support.

• Speak up when it's important to you.

• Check items off your To Do list.

• Do something nice to someone else.

• Take meaningful breaks during the day.

• Day dream and do nothing at times.
  
  And the list goes on and on. The key is to make sure you’re doing what positively energizes and rebuilds your lagging spirit.
  
  Resilience doesn't come to us automatically and magically. We are the driver of our own unique resilience car. So let's make sure we're plugging in regularly and strategically.

EFFECTIVE RECOVERY IS MORE THAN JUST REST

Anyone feeling tired? How do we recover our energy during these exhausting days in a world that is speeding nonstop?

Recovery in our day-to-day busy lives means more than stopping. It's a dynamic & personal process that aims at restoring our energetic resources. And it's conceivably different with all of us--what will work for me might not work for you because our unique physiology, psychology and current life needs are different.

So here are some examples of personalized questions we can ask ourselves in order to shape effective authentic recovery:

1. What kind of rest do I most need right now--a short power nap, a music bath, a brisk walk around the building?

2. Do I need to work on some limiting beliefs that are draining energy from my life, or to change my self-talk in specific ways?

3. Do I need a few minutes of guided meditation? Or do I need to sit comfortably in silence?

4. Do I need a weekend filled with social activities or more alone time, or projects around the house, or relaxation, or more sleep, or reading fun books, or going for a hike in nature?

Recovery requires strategic self regulation and dynamic choices. Which of those needs appeals to you most in the midst of your busyness and feeling drained?

If you would like more content on this topic of strategic recovery, check out Chapter Two in my book “The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your Life in a World Obsessed with Busyness.” It’s available in Amazon and other book stores.

What Practice Successful Leaders Have in Common

If I've learned anything during the years of my life, I've learned that one of the most important attributes of successful leaders is the prioritization of the regular practice of self-reflection that leads to a rigorous self-evaluation. I've worked with 100s of leaders through the years and the ones who are most effective are those who choose to carve out strategic stops to learn more about themselves and how to live a more maximized and transformational life at home and at work.

Self reflection leads to increased self awareness that leads to self regulation and self responsibility which facilitates an honest and comprehensive self evaluation which produces better personal and professional growth. All of that doesn't just happen spontaneously. It happens by strategic intention and attention.

That's probably why so few people actually engage in self reflection. We're just too busy. We're a bit afraid of what we might see. We're not exactly sure how to go about it. It seems like a lot of work and energy. ...

Only those who engage in this vital practice are the ones who live life with greatest depth, breadth, and expanse of their true potential.

What's your intention for yourself and your teams this year?

For more details about this practice and how to go about it, you can read my book "The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your Life in a World Obsessed with Busyness." At the end of every chapter are two sections with directed questions for Personal Reflection and Team Reflection.

Self Reflection is not a Luxury or Option for Successful People

When is the last time you sat in stillness and reflected on who you are and how you are showing up in the world these days?

If there's ever a need for developing the art of self-reflection it's during these chaotic, uncertain times. The irony is that taking this time is actually counter-intuitive. We think we simply don't have the "extra" time--we are inundated with so many To Do's. We are tempted to look at self-reflection as a luxury or at best an option.

We live at a time in history in which we are literally bombarded with information of all kinds on a daily basis, Everyone and everything are competing for our attention. and now, with smartphones, we are never away from this assault. Consequently, we experience a kind of mental overload, overstimulation, and exhaustion.

“How can I ever take time to spend in quiet self-reflection? I don't have that time!”

When in fact, unless we take this time, we remain stagnant and in the end less creatively productive.

Our greatest personal power resides in self-reflection. Stepping back to see through the information smog to discern what is truly important gives us a clearer self-awareness so we can be grounded and centered in our authentic identity.

Here’s the truth: we skip this practice and pay the painful price of superficiality and mediocrity. Why? Because our greatest power resides in self-reflection that leads to authentic expression.

Learn to SEE you and then BE you. Then you will truly change the world. DO you.

Quote taken from Dr. Greg Nelson, "The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your Life in a World Obsessed with Busyness." Available via Amazon: https://lnkd.in/d3r3nhn. A great gift to yourself and to people who matter to you at work and at home.

LEADING WELL REQUIRES PERSONAL GROWTH

More now than ever, as Monique Valcour puts it, "leading well requires a continuous journey of personal development."

In other words, successful leaders choose a willingness to take the time to engage in regular self-reflection to increase self-awareness and emotional intelligence, and to deepen relational empathy (other-awareness). Prioritizing what I call "strategic stops" for the purpose of engaging in these vital personal development practices.

Leaders can no longer isolate themselves in the "corner office." They cannot delegate reflection, thinking, and relationships. They must get to know themselves and their people,

• what motivates them,

• what their strengths are,

• what their personalities and temperaments are,

• what their hopes and dreams are,

• what their backgrounds are and how that shapes their present experience.

Success in today's world is determined more than ever before by how well a leader works with and interacts with self and others.

The true joys and impacts of leadership come when we "leave the airport bar" and embrace the wonders, diversity, and multi-dimensional world that we "flew to" when we said "yes" to being a leader.

Leadership Is A Team Sport

If there's anything we've learned the last few years in our country it's that successful leadership is a team sport not an individual event. The days of the leader as the lone super-hero who's come to save the world are over!

Effective leadership has moved away from the "follow me because I know everything" to "I'm here to help you be your best, so what I can do for you? And together let’s fulfill our mission!"

Halla Tómasdóttir, CEO of The B Team, investor, co-founder of Reykjavik University, and runner-up in Iceland’s 2016 presidential elections, describes this kind of leadership most needed in our current times:

“What this crisis has shown us is that the leadership style of ‘I know it all’ is not a good leadership style for this moment or any other challenge we are going to continue to face and need to deal with collectively, collaboratively, with compassion, and with care. Leadership is not given to the few — it’s inside of all of us, and life is all about unleashing that leadership.”

Collaborative leadership--when it's centered in compassion, empathy, mutual respect, honor and trust--always produces the best, most innovative, most transformational results for everyone.

Leadership is a team sport!

SELF CARE IS NOT A LUXURY, IT'S A MANDATE

Especially during this work-at-home pandemic (Thank You, COVID-19), it's easy to get confused about taking breaks to pay attention to our mental health and overall self care. We might be tempted to feel guilty if we're not working long hours every day, maybe even on the weekends. Or we might be tempted to see our amazing attention to productivity and its corresponding busyness as a badge of honor, a symbol of how important and necessary we are. 

But unfortunately, with either of those approaches, the foundation of our self worth and self esteem get all confused and mixed up. We end up believing the lie that our worth and value come from what we produce rather than who we are as human beings. 

And our wellbeing and resilience lose. 

That's why I love a meme I put together showing a sleeping kitten with the caption by Liane Davey:

Investing in your resilience isn't indulgent; it's mission-critical.

What a pithy reminder. When you and I invest in our self care, it isn't a luxury, it's a mandate. It's perhaps one of the most countercultural, courageous acts we can engage in.

We cannot achieve our full humanity with its glorious potential without taking intentional times to stop (what I call strategic stops) for rest, recovery, having fun, building our healthy relationships, investing in the social causes that inspire us, and paying attention to our emotional and physical lives, too.

Liane Davey, in her recent article in the Harvard Business Review, gives this challenge to the leaders of every organization:

It’s time to take those hackneyed words, 'our people are our greatest asset,' to heart. If you are an important asset, how could depriving, devaluing, and depreciating that asset by running it in harsh conditions, powering it with improper fuel, and neglecting routine maintenance possibly be good for your organization? Let’s cut to the chase: It’s not! ... From now on, tell yourself, 'It’s so busy at work right now, I can’t afford NOT to take care of myself!'"

If you have the courage to do this for yourself, it will be powerful evidence that you are a great leader! And that kind of modeling and permission-giving will empower the people around you. And you'll have the energy to engage in the mission of your organization in creative, innovative, and bold ways. Everyone wins!