Just Take One Step: Navigating the Step of Faith and Mindfulness

Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

So, without defining the word "faith" in that sentence in any kind of religious or spiritual sense, what does the statement mean to you?  Why might it be important to your life?

Some of us, like me who has the strength of Futuristic--the ability and drive to paint a clear picture/vision of a preferred future in a way that is compelling and inspiring--are inclined to dream a lot, and spend time defining the dream, outlining it, specifying it, clarifying it, painting it in as great detail as possible.  Our temptation is to stay in that mode of thinking to the exclusion of doing the work of taking steps to get that vision.  It's the tendency to live in the clouds of dreams and vision without ever getting back to earth where the actual steps have to be taken.  We want to make sure we have all our ducks lined up in a row lest we jump "too quickly."

So King's statement is a powerful nudge.  Faith is first about taking a step toward the dream.  Moving forward, even by one step.  Faith is fundamentally a willingness to move ahead rather than sitting still to wait for more complete information.

Reflection:  Are there any places in your life where you find yourself stuck, sitting still rather than moving forward?  Can you determine why you're not moving ahead?  Are you waiting for something?  What?  More information?  A more complete picture of where you think you're going?  Are you afraid of taking a step?  Why?  What's keeping you from forward momentum?

Notice the second dimension of faith in King's statement.  Faith moves ahead even when the whole picture isn't clear yet.  You don't have to see the whole staircase in order to take the step.  There's an emphasis in this definition of faith away from the future back to the present.

The January 2013 issue of National Geographic Traveler highlighted an unusual cultural exchange between a 30-year-old Maasai warrior from the Serengeti and high school students, led by 55-year-old librarian Paula Busey, in Littleton, Colorado.  The kids raised money to bring this Maasai warrior to their community where he taught them about his culture and his people's wordview.  Our core value, he said, is to work at preserving communities and traditions.  And then he gave a significant observation:

"American kids are obsessed with becoming adults, with finishing university and starting to work.  I understand they have anxieties.  But I tell them the Maasai don't think about tomorrow.  We just try to make today excellent.  And if today is excellent, tomorrow will come."

Imagine living life more like that--refusing to constantly be thinking about the "tomorrows" in everything we do.  Imagine learning the art of living in the moment.  Experts call this Mindfulness (I think MLK was using the word "faith" for the same concept)--being fully present in the moment--savoring your one step--choosing not to allow the constant mental chatter and obsession with what's next or what's coming up or how am I doing with all of my "stuff," to affect this present moment--to discover and savor the beauty of this moment, this little step.

Reflection:  One of the great mantras for this mindfulness practice is, "In this moment, I have everything I need."  Say that to yourself a few times.  What does it feel like?  Does it feel foolish to you?  Why or why not?  Try making this a regular saying you repeat at different moments throughout the day.  See what that does to your attitude and presence.

It's not to say that the future isn't important.  We all have to plan ahead.  But our human tendency, especially in our culture, is to obsess on the future and it's every known detail.  And then to worry about the details we're sure must be important but we just can't seem to see or anticipate yet.  Either way, we're losing out--because we're not appreciating what is here right now, in this moment.  We've consigned ourselves to living in worry and anxiety over things that haven't even happened yet.

But here's the reality:  Yesterday is gone forever; tomorrow hasn't even happened yet; the present is all we have.  Why ruin it?

You don't have to see the whole staircase to take your first step.

Remember Indiana Jones in the scene from The Last Crusade where he brings his group to the edge of the precipice?  They have to get to the other side but the chasm that separates them is wide and deep.  Impossible to bridge.  

Indiana Jones pulls out his notebook which contains the map and instructions, finds their current location, and suddenly realizes that there's an unseen bridge that actually spans the chasm.  But it will only appear once you take the first step.  Would you take that step, even if you couldn't see the whole bridge?

He holds out one foot over the dark abyss.  Then he lowers that foot down into what looks like pure air and space ... and leans into it.  Suddenly, his foot touches something and immediately the entire bridge materializes into view.  And the group inches its way across the divide to the other side.

Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase.

Reflection:  What would it be like for you to follow the Maasai tradition of not thinking about tomorrow but just trying to make today excellent?  How would that attitude and intention impact the quality of your present moment?  What faith do you have that will embolden you to stick your foot out over what feels like an empty abyss and set it down even when you can't see clearly ahead?  What is one even small step you are being nudged to take right now, in this moment, that you need to take?

There's a reason why all religious traditions refer to mindfulness as a spiritual practice.  It's a discipline that has to be developed.  It takes practice.  Serious intention and choice.  Over and over and over again.

Think of all the great social and spiritual movements in this world that would never have materialized had this concept of faith not been acted upon.  Martin Luther King, Jr., who made this statement, was one of the greatest visionaries in the world.  His "I Have A Dream" speech painted a powerful vision of a future he longed for.  But he never completely knew the future, in every detail.  There were outcomes he never anticipated.  There were moments he even doubted the reality or possibility of this Dream of equality and justice for all people.  But he still took the first step every day.  He acted in a courageous and intentional way each new day.  He refused to let himself become paralyzed into inaction or to allow lack of clarity about the future to impede his forward momentum each day.  One step at a time.  But one step.

Every life transformation begins with the faith / courage to take the first step forward.  Don't worry about having to know everything about the future.  Just take the first step forward.  And then the next step will become more clear.  And then when you take that step, the next step will become clear.  Act on what you do know--take one step.

The Spirituality of Google's 'Undo Send' Button

Have you ever said or done something that the moment you let it out you wished you could take it back?  A lot of us live with a lot of regret along this line ... because you simply can't take back things you've said or done that might have been hurtful or disrespectful to others.  And our human tendency is to react quickly when our egos are threatened. So many of us do it regularly, in fact, that Google has added a feature to Gmail called "Undo Send."  Once you hit "Send" Gmail holds the email for five seconds, during which time you can stop the email from going out.

Wouldn't it be great if in the rest of our lives we had the option to simply hit an "Undo Send" button?  Unfortunately, once we've spoken the word or committed the act, it can't be retrieved.  Our words or actions hang out there creating consequences that can't be erased or undone.

But perhaps there's another 5 Second option that might prevent the words or behaviors in the first place.  The key, in real time, is to avoid the unproductive "Send" in the first place.  What would happen if we tried using the 5 second option before we hit Send?

Effective and healthy spirituality is about paying more attention to the way we are present in the world, learning how to live with greater awareness and compassion.  Which makes this 5 Second Option a potentially deeply spiritual practice.

Here's how it works.  Peter Bregman, the CEO of Bregman Partners, Inc., a global management consulting firm, spoke to a friend of his (Joshua Gordon, a Neuroscientist and Assistant Professor at Columbia University) about this issue of why it's so natural for us to react negatively to a person or circumstance that threatens our egos.  And is there anything we can do about it?

Dr Gordon pointed out :  "There are direct pathways from sensory stimuli into the amygdala.  The amygdala is the emotional response center of the brain," he explained. "When something unsettling happens in the outside world, it immediately evokes an emotion.  But pure raw unadulterated emotion is not the source of your best decisions. So, how do you get beyond the emotion to rational thought?  It turns out while there's a war going on between you and someone else, there's another war going on, in your brain, between you and yourself. And that quiet little battle is your prefrontal cortex trying to subdue your amygdala.  Think of the amygdala as the little red person in your head with the pitchfork saying 'I say we clobber the guy!' and think of the prefrontal cortex as the little person dressed in white saying 'Uhm, maybe it's not such a great idea to yell back. I mean, he is your client after all.'   The key is cognitive control of the amygdyla by the prefrontal cortex."

So Bregman asked him how we could help our prefrontal cortex win the war. Dr. Gordon paused for a minute and then answered, "If you take a breath and delay your action, you give the prefrontal cortex time to control the emotional response.  Slowing down your breath has a direct calming affect on your brain."

Which begs the very practical question, how long do we have to stall?  How much time does our prefrontal cortex need to overcome our amygdala?

Dr. Gordon's response:  "Not long. A second or two."

Sounds like Google is onto something with its 5 second "Undo Send" option.  Apparently there's significant biological / physiological / psychological (and dare I add, spiritual) reality to actually being able to overcome our immediate urge to react negatively and aggressively toward someone or something that is threatening our ego and beginning to make us want to attack back.  Imagine in the moment choosing to press "pause," taking a few deep breaths for 5 seconds, and allowing the immediate emotion to drain away even just a bit, so that you can then at least begin the process of trying to respond positively and with no regret later.

Peter Bregman applied the strategy to his recent situation:  "When Bob yelled at me in the hall, I took a deep breath and gave my prefrontal cortex a little time to win. I knew there was a misunderstanding and I also knew my relationship with Bob was important. So instead of yelling back, I walked over to him. It only took a few seconds. But that gave us both enough time to become reasonable. Pause. Breathe. Then act."

I don't know about you, but for me this 5 Second Option isn't as easy as it sounds!  I find it extremely difficult in practice when I'm facing some deep emotional feelings being stirred up and my buttons are being pushed left and right.  Maybe that's why the great spiritual traditions of the world have developed rituals and disciplines they call spiritual practices.  These disciplines and behaviors that are designed to produce greater peace and calm and centeredness in the midst of life's turmoil take intense practice.  Change doesn't happen over night.  Transformation comes as the result of determined discipline to engage in new thinking and new behaviors.

Which also (and most importantly) means you and I need to be patient with ourselves and with others.  We need to hold ourselves, including all of our mixed up and all-over-the-board reactions to life, gently.  We must give ourselves compassion, too - to honor ourselves as we are with the goodness we have in us that we ultimately want to express and let out more often than we do.  Maybe this self-gentleness and self-kindness would empower us to more readily hit the Undo Send button.

What would it look like in your life for you to use the 5 Second Undo Send button?  How much practice do you need to make this strategy more of a natural response, your more automatic default mode?  Pause. Breathe. Act.  I'm going to keep practicing this one.  I need it.  And living with regret isn't worth it.

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Four Ways To Overcome the Spirit of Indifference

We all read about it in the news last Monday.  Many of us saw the video.  Hugo Alfredo Tale-Yax, 31, a Guatemalan immigrant who went to New York City in order to help his family back home, made his living as a day laborer, and when the economy crumbled, so did his job prospects. He wound up homeless, first living in shelters and then finally on the streets. A grainy surveillance video trained on a street in Jamaica, Queens, on April 18 captured the final moments of Mr. Tale-Yax’s life: A couple argues, Mr. Tale-Yax comes to the woman’s aid, the man stabs him in the stomach and runs away.

Helping a stranger was the last act of a broken man.

The video has made headlines across the globe, not just for its brutality, but for the indifference it seems to convey. It shows Mr. Tale-Yax lying face down for more than an hour on a sidewalk on 144th Street, near 88th Road, his life slipping away on the pavement as dozens of people walk past him.  Over an hour later, the paramedics arrive to find him lying in a pool of his blood.  They pronounce him dead at the scene.

I would be curious to interview the 2 dozen or more people who walked past Hugo as he lay there on the street Monday evening.  What did they notice?  Anything unusual or just another New York City scene?  If they did notice, what did they feel or think as they saw him?  Did they immediately assume he was simply another drunk passed out on the street corner?  Or they did see him as one of "those" illegal immigrants who shouldn't be here and doesn't deserve the City's help?  Did they simply not know he was in any trouble?  Did they perhaps naturally or even unconsciously ascribe the whole scene to a normal urban landscape - it's just the way it is here in the City?  Did they notice something wrong but assume someone else would call it in to 911?  Were they busily on their way to an appointment so they couldn't take the time to stop?  Were they afraid to get involved (after all, here in the City even good samaritans get hurt - this story is a good example of that danger)?

Why would over 24 people walk by a hurt and dying man without even stopping?  Makes you wonder, doesn't it.  What might you have done?

His brother Roland refused to watch the video when he was first told a tape existed, but found he could not avoid it on the local news. He was in shock, he said, that nobody helped his brother.

"Any animal that is hurt on the street, the city or anybody walking by goes to rescue it. But in this case, he saved this woman's life, and where was the conscience of the people around him?" Rolando Tale-Yax said.  "They have to realize that it could be a member of their family who is the next victim. … I just hope it doesn't happen again."

Perhaps this sad and tragic story provides some insight as to significant steps you and I can take to act more compassionately as a general life style.

One, change indifference.  Contrary to popular opinion that indifference is simply at the core of who we are as humans - it's evidence of our fallen nature - original sin - so we'll sometimes say, "Oh well, it's just the way we are - we're wired for indifference" - recent research shows otherwise.

In reality,  there is actually a biological basis for compassion.  There is a specific part of our brain that is wired for a compassion response.  Experiments with both mothers with their babies and people presented with images of victims of suffering showed similar neurological reactions.  The region of the brain associated with positive emotions literally lit up.  "This consistency strongly suggests that compassion isn't simply a fickle or irrational emotion, but rather an innate human response embedded into the folds of our brains," writes Dacher Keltner, PhD , a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley.

The good news is that an attitude of indifference can therefore be radically changed.  It's not in fact who we are as humans.  We don't have to shrug our shoulders in a spirit of resignation.  We can do something about it.

Two, practice compassion.  Recent neuroscience studies suggest that positive emotions are less heritable—that is, less determined by our DNA—than the negative emotions. Other studies indicate that the brain structures involved in positive emotions like compassion are more "plastic"—subject to changes brought about by environmental input. So, as Dr. Keltner observes, "we might think about compassion as a biologically based skill or virtue, but not one that we either have or don't have. Instead, it's a trait that we can develop in an appropriate context."

This is why all of the major religious traditions in the world see compassion as a spiritual practice.  And each tradition has developed ways to practice this trait.  And here again, the latest neurobiological research shows that our bodies have a built in system to facilitate this practice.

For example, helping others triggers activity in the  portions of the brain that turn on when people receive rewards or experience pleasure.  Every compassionate act causes a pleasurable physiological response.  In addition, behaviors associated with compassionate love—warm smiles, friendly hand gestures, affirmative forward leans—actually produce more oxytocin in the body which is the hormone that promotes feelings of warmth and connection to others. This suggests compassion may be self-perpetuating: being compassionate causes a chemical reaction in the body that motivates us to be even more compassionate.  So the more we practice acts of kindness and compassion to others, the more we are rewarded for it and the easier the skill becomes.  Transformational spirituality is a practice, a discipline, a developing of ourselves into who we were designed to become.

Three, develop mindfulness.  As Mr. Tale-Yax's tragic story indicates, people are often so caught up in their own lives (for whatever reasons) that they don't notice or pay attention.  I've seen this in myself at times:  I'm walking along the city streets often caught up in my own internal world of thoughts, planning, projections, inner conversations, trying to get some place in a hurry, that I really am missing most of what's around me.  If someone would suddenly stop me and quiz me about what I had seen in the last 10 minutes, I would stutter and stammer somewhat incoherently (except about the details of my inner conversations).

One of the key spiritual practices that so many traditions suggest is mindfulness - the ability to step into the present moment - to be truly aware and conscious right now.  This, too, is a skill that needs to be cultivated.  Try walking somewhere and paying attention to what's around you - what do you hear, see, smell, feel?  Try more meditation at home - spend time sitting and becoming more aware of your self, your heart, your body.  Widen that attention to what's around you.  Really notice.

Four, use empathy.  Hugo's brother Roland made the painful observation that if people would simply recognize that the suffering person could be a member of their own family, they would probably respond differently - be more proactive with their compassion.  He's describing the use of empathy.  The power of empathy is the choice to put ourselves in other people's shoes, to enter their space for a moment, in order to try to understand what they're going through.  It's often begins by asking ourselves the simple question, How would I feel - what would I want - if I were in that situation right now?  But then it always goes beyond to the next question, What is that person feeling or really wanting or needing?  Though our personal responses might differ from that suffering person's, research indicates that the choice to enter into empathy actually helps to motivate altruistic behavior.

Four tangible and siumple ways to overcoming indifference and stepping into compassion.  I'm not completely sure how I would have responded last Monday evening had I been walking along the sidewalk where Huge Alfredo Tale-Yux lay dying.  I would hope I would've at least stopped to see if he was alright.  I really hope I would've also gone beyond that simple step and gotten whatever help I could for him to save his life.  Imagine living in a world where people practiced compassion so often that they became really adept at it - a world where indifference was an anomaly rather than the rule.  It's time to unleash the powerful biology of our lives and let our true wiring go wild.  For the Hugo Alfredo's of the world.

Looking For Thin Places: The Practice of Seeing God In Even Unlikely Spaces

[Please SHARE this blog with people who might be interested!  Hit the button on the right to subscribe or to share the post] My wife and I have been reading a book by one of our friends, Samir Selmanovic, It's Really About God:  Reflections of a Muslim Atheist Jewish Christian.  It's a personal exploration of a very different way of looking at religion which has historically too often degenerated into "self-serving God management systems."  To Samir, "To learn to live together on this fragile earth, authentic believers of all traditions need to see that it's really not about their religion, it's really all about God - God who is about all of us and cannot be owned by any of us."

To suggest a powerful spiritual paradigm that enhances this sense of the Sacred that refuses to be corralled and caged, he references the introduction of Christianity to Ireland by Saint Patrick around 431 C.E.  St. Patrick discovered that God had already been among the Celts before he arrived.  So instead of completely dismantling their spiritual experience in favor of his brand, he found the presence of God outside the walls of his religion and explored a more contextualized spirituality that ended up in a brand of Christian spirituality that is still popular to this day.

Celtic Christians sought after what they called "thin places," spots where the "membrane between mere physical reality and the reality of God's presence thins out to where it can seen, touched, tasted, or sensed in some unmistakable way."  The Celts often found these "thin places" at shorelines, fjords, rivers, and wells.  And later, they experienced them in cathedrals, prayer gardens, sacred groves and plots of ground - places where "the veil was so sheer, one could almost step through it" into the presence of God.

Another author I read recently said:  "There is a Celtic saying that heaven and earth are only three feet apart, but in the thin places that distance is even smaller. A thin place is where the veil that separates heaven and earth is lifted and one is able to receive a glimpse of the glory of God."

The contemporary poet Sharlande Sledge gives this description.

"Thin places," the Celts call this space, Both seen and unseen, Where the door between the world And the next is cracked open for a moment And the light is not all on the other side. God shaped space. Holy.

I'm moved by this concept of Thin Places.  A corresponding spiritual practice would be to develop a more intimate awareness of the Sacred wherever we are, an ability to find where the veil of the Eternal is pulled back to give us a glimpse of the divine, a place of encounter with the divine presence.  Discovering and exploring "God shaped space."

What would that look like in your life?  It could be at a busy intersection downtown San Francisco as you prepare to cross the street getting back to your office after lunch or running an errand.  You could come across a divine portal while you're walking your dog or washing dishes at your sink.  The veil could suddenly be pulled back in the midst of a conversation with a friend, a dream at night, standing on Ocean Beach, or pushing your cart down a Costco aisle.  You might discover a God-shaped space in the middle of a discussion with friends or in the middle of a song or while doing some personal internal work of self-discovery.  Thin Places where you suddenly find yourself pulled closer to God.

Have you ever come upon a Thin Place?  What ways have you found to enhance your awareness of the Sacred, places where you've encountered a portal to the divine?  How might you develop a spiritual practice to embrace more intimately the God of your journey wherever you are along that path?

The Jews were masterful at recording stories of their experiences with Thin Places.  My spiritual community Second Wind engaged in a Saturday morning discussion series a month ago about one such Thin Place which occurred at an unlikely spot called the Jordan River.  After having wandered and wilted in the desert for over 40 years, trying to get themselves to their land of promise in Canaan, this large band of ragtag nomads finally found themselves standing in front of the raging, swollen Spring waters of the Jordan, their land of promise unfortunately on the other side - no bridges, no footpath, no boats, no way across.  And yet it was in the face of this seemingly insurmountable obstacle that they encountered an amazing portal to the divine.

As per instructions from their God, the moment they stuck their anxious toes into the raging waters (in an act of bold faith), the veil between heaven and earth was suddenly blown back.  A dramatic Thin Place appeared.   The waters of the Jordan River split in two and dry ground stood before them all the way to the other side of this impossible river, straight to their promised land.  After everyone had crossed over, a group of their tribal leaders walked back into the middle, selected 12 large stones, placed them on top of each other as an altar of remembrance to this Thin Place of encounter with their God.  Then they walked back to the river bank and built another stone altar.  Why build these altars, with one of them remaining in the middle of the river?  They were to be visible reminders of their encounter with God, a Thin Place, a divine portal where they saw and felt God work on their behalf.

“In the future your children will ask, ‘What do these stones mean?’  Then you can tell them, ‘This is where the Israelites crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ For the Lord your God dried up the river right before your eyes, and he kept it dry until you were all across, just as he did at the Red Sea when he dried it up until we had all crossed over.  These stones will stand as a permanent memorial for all the people."  (Joshua 4)  Every time future generations would come upon those stone altars, it would be a Thin Place for them where they would be reminded of God's presence, past, present, and future.

Where are your Thin Places?  Might they even be in moments of deep crisis and difficulty, like those wandering nomads at the riverside?  What are some reminders you might develop for your encounter with Thin Places?  How might you be more curious and aware of possible divine portals all around you?  Imagine the powerful impact this could have on your personal spirituality as you discovered places where you could step beyond the veil and savor a glimpse of the glory of God.