A CALL FOR MORE DEEP LEADERS

I was sailing with a few friends in the San Francisco Bay a few years ago with the intent to sail under the Golden Gate Bridge and out into the open seas. Before reaching the iconic bridge, suddenly a huge gust of wind hit our sails and we heeled over so far the water was rushing into the cockpit. It felt like we were going over.

Until we didn't.

A sailboat is designed to have more weight below the waterline than above it. Thank you, keel. That huge "weight" attached to the bottom of the boat is what provides a counterbalance to the force of the wind. It takes an uncanny amount of wind to knock a sailboat completely over. And even then it can often right itself. More weight below the waterline. That's called ballast.

Richard Foster, one of the great spiritual writers and teachers of the 20th century, made this statement (quoted in my book "The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your life in a World Obsessed with Busyness").

“The desperate need today is not for a great number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.”

He's referring to the importance of paying more attention to what is "below the waterline" of our lives than to what's above. His call is for leaders to intentionalize personal development, character depth, integrity, wisdom; rather than a mono-focus on the things people can see--the outward appearance. We create more ballast and internal weight with this strategic focus.

Our positive impact on the people around us--our teams and peers, our families and friends--is directly determined by our personal ballast and depth.

Character. Wisdom. Vision. Integrity. Honesty. Compassion. Kindness. Empathy. Courage. Persistence. Authenticity. These are developed first on the inside and then revealed on the outside.

What practices do you engage in regularly to deepen your internal world, your character and authentic self?

2 Leadership Lessons from the Grand Canyon

It’s hard to express with adequate words the awe & wonder of the Grand Canyon & Colorado River. The Grand Canyon is one of the 7 natural wonders of the world and I can see why.

Majestic. Stunning. Rugged. Ancient. Raw. Massive. Prehistoric. Beautiful. Exquisite. Bold. Fierce. Unforgiving.

As a result, our 7 day trip through the Canyon produced some transformational experiences for me—here are 2 that stand out:

1. Be unplugged more. It was incredibly centering & grounding to my mind, heart, body, and soul to be off-the-grid for a full week. The simplicity of life in the wild is profound—a reminder of how much we can live without in our need to survive and even thrive in the world. We wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, drink water, go hiking and rafting, eat snacks, drink water, have conversations throughout the day, set up camp, eat supper, drink water, apply body lotion to dried up skin, go to bed, and sleep. A fundamental existence.

   Yet the beauty of the stars at night, the sunsets, sunrises on the massive rock monuments all around, blooming desert foliage & creatures, sun and blue sky, cold refreshing wild emerald river—all these wonders are worth soaking into one’s psyche at every moment. It just can’t happen in a worthwhile way if we’re continually distracted by all we plug into in our daily lives.

2. Be more present. Both the absolute silence among the rocks as well as the roaring water and wind kept me focused on the present moment. When you’re doing rock climbing up a slot canyon, all you’re thinking about is the vital body positioning & leveraging of your strength or else you drop to the stream or rocks below. Present moment. When you’re in the midst of the violent rapids, you’re focused on hanging on for dear life. The exhilaration & adrenaline of working hard to survive & succeed in this environment keeps you going on. Be Here Now is the natural motto.

One of the many beautiful waterfalls in the Grand Canyon. The water was freezing cold but so refreshing!

I was reminded daily how significant it is to be fully present in the moments of life. How much unnecessary energy we use up obsessing over the past or the future. We lose the joys of the present moments.

One of the keys to good leadership is empowering our people to experience the Now in tangible & productive ways. To be present with each other. To listen to each other. To appreciate and respect each other. To express gratitude for each other's positive contributions to right now. And to do this, leaders need to be unplugged during moments with their teams. Don’t let your technology or other distractions keep you from focusing on your people in the important moments of their daily lives.

Imagine what a game changer this would be for the culture of our teams & workplaces. Be Here Now. Unplugged. "In this moment we have everything we need." Let's lift ourselves & each other up. That's what good leaders do.

“In this moment I have everything I need.” So Be Here Now.

How to Break the Code of Positive Energy to Handle Stress

I've learned in my own experience that one of the keys to establishing resilience and stress management is to break the code of positive energy - learning how to hack our built-in "feel good and strong" neurochemicals that our brain releases into our body system.

Here's a list I came across of those chemicals and some simple activities you can engage in to experience their release throughout your brain and body.

Keep this list handy. Resilience and managing stress don't appear magically. We need to be intentional about accessing them via strategic stops in our busy lives. 😀

For example, one of my energy boosts is completing a task on my To Do list - when I check that "baby" off as Done I get a shot of dopamine feel good energy. And even if, upon review of my list, I realize that I completed something that wasn't on my list, I add it and then check it off. It always shoots me some dopamine. Love it!

For another example, I had a reader write me about this list, asking the question, “Where does playing a musical instrument fit into these four categories?” Great question!

If I’m practicing my piano I’m getting dopamine (being rewarded for my practice) or endorphin (the pain killer boost). If I’m playing for my mood I’m getting seratonin (the mood stabilizer). If I’m singing to my wife I’m getting oxytocin (the love hormone) and giving her an oxy boost too! Who knew music could be an all-encompassing chemical shot in the arm.

Have you noticed how any of these activities listed in the four categories have made you feel? Experiment to see what happens to your positive energy? What kind of a boost do you get? How does that activity make you feel? Are there other activities not on this list that might even combine all four neurochemicals as a boost to you?

Have fun with this chart! Remember, resilience and stress management, as well as happiness, don’t happen magically. You have the opportunity to be intentional about accessing those built-in boosts. So take some strategic stops away from the nonstop busyness and stresses of your life to give yourself a shot of “feel good” energy. You deserve a break today!

THE KEYS TO LASTING RESILIENCE

I was talking to a Healthcare executive today who owns an electric car. He made a very profound observation--the car is state of the art; but it's of no use unless it gets plugged in regularly. No renewed energy, no usefulness. It will limp down the road or be parked in the garage.

Building effective and lasting resilience is fairly simple: crack the energy code = pay intentional, strategic attention to what positively energizes you and then do them, often. Build your life around them.

Like:

• use your strengths.

• Know yourself and be true to yourself.

• Know your circadian rhythm and live by it.

• Focus on your purpose--why you're doing what you do.

• Express appreciation to yourself and others.

• Faithfully keep a gratitude list.

• Surround yourself with mutual social support.

• Speak up when it's important to you.

• Check items off your To Do list.

• Do something nice to someone else.

• Take meaningful breaks during the day.

• Day dream and do nothing at times.
  
  And the list goes on and on. The key is to make sure you’re doing what positively energizes and rebuilds your lagging spirit.
  
  Resilience doesn't come to us automatically and magically. We are the driver of our own unique resilience car. So let's make sure we're plugging in regularly and strategically.

EFFECTIVE RECOVERY IS MORE THAN JUST REST

Anyone feeling tired? How do we recover our energy during these exhausting days in a world that is speeding nonstop?

Recovery in our day-to-day busy lives means more than stopping. It's a dynamic & personal process that aims at restoring our energetic resources. And it's conceivably different with all of us--what will work for me might not work for you because our unique physiology, psychology and current life needs are different.

So here are some examples of personalized questions we can ask ourselves in order to shape effective authentic recovery:

1. What kind of rest do I most need right now--a short power nap, a music bath, a brisk walk around the building?

2. Do I need to work on some limiting beliefs that are draining energy from my life, or to change my self-talk in specific ways?

3. Do I need a few minutes of guided meditation? Or do I need to sit comfortably in silence?

4. Do I need a weekend filled with social activities or more alone time, or projects around the house, or relaxation, or more sleep, or reading fun books, or going for a hike in nature?

Recovery requires strategic self regulation and dynamic choices. Which of those needs appeals to you most in the midst of your busyness and feeling drained?

If you would like more content on this topic of strategic recovery, check out Chapter Two in my book “The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your Life in a World Obsessed with Busyness.” It’s available in Amazon and other book stores.

What Practice Successful Leaders Have in Common

If I've learned anything during the years of my life, I've learned that one of the most important attributes of successful leaders is the prioritization of the regular practice of self-reflection that leads to a rigorous self-evaluation. I've worked with 100s of leaders through the years and the ones who are most effective are those who choose to carve out strategic stops to learn more about themselves and how to live a more maximized and transformational life at home and at work.

Self reflection leads to increased self awareness that leads to self regulation and self responsibility which facilitates an honest and comprehensive self evaluation which produces better personal and professional growth. All of that doesn't just happen spontaneously. It happens by strategic intention and attention.

That's probably why so few people actually engage in self reflection. We're just too busy. We're a bit afraid of what we might see. We're not exactly sure how to go about it. It seems like a lot of work and energy. ...

Only those who engage in this vital practice are the ones who live life with greatest depth, breadth, and expanse of their true potential.

What's your intention for yourself and your teams this year?

For more details about this practice and how to go about it, you can read my book "The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your Life in a World Obsessed with Busyness." At the end of every chapter are two sections with directed questions for Personal Reflection and Team Reflection.

Self Reflection is not a Luxury or Option for Successful People

When is the last time you sat in stillness and reflected on who you are and how you are showing up in the world these days?

If there's ever a need for developing the art of self-reflection it's during these chaotic, uncertain times. The irony is that taking this time is actually counter-intuitive. We think we simply don't have the "extra" time--we are inundated with so many To Do's. We are tempted to look at self-reflection as a luxury or at best an option.

We live at a time in history in which we are literally bombarded with information of all kinds on a daily basis, Everyone and everything are competing for our attention. and now, with smartphones, we are never away from this assault. Consequently, we experience a kind of mental overload, overstimulation, and exhaustion.

“How can I ever take time to spend in quiet self-reflection? I don't have that time!”

When in fact, unless we take this time, we remain stagnant and in the end less creatively productive.

Our greatest personal power resides in self-reflection. Stepping back to see through the information smog to discern what is truly important gives us a clearer self-awareness so we can be grounded and centered in our authentic identity.

Here’s the truth: we skip this practice and pay the painful price of superficiality and mediocrity. Why? Because our greatest power resides in self-reflection that leads to authentic expression.

Learn to SEE you and then BE you. Then you will truly change the world. DO you.

Quote taken from Dr. Greg Nelson, "The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your Life in a World Obsessed with Busyness." Available via Amazon: https://lnkd.in/d3r3nhn. A great gift to yourself and to people who matter to you at work and at home.

LEADING WELL REQUIRES PERSONAL GROWTH

More now than ever, as Monique Valcour puts it, "leading well requires a continuous journey of personal development."

In other words, successful leaders choose a willingness to take the time to engage in regular self-reflection to increase self-awareness and emotional intelligence, and to deepen relational empathy (other-awareness). Prioritizing what I call "strategic stops" for the purpose of engaging in these vital personal development practices.

Leaders can no longer isolate themselves in the "corner office." They cannot delegate reflection, thinking, and relationships. They must get to know themselves and their people,

• what motivates them,

• what their strengths are,

• what their personalities and temperaments are,

• what their hopes and dreams are,

• what their backgrounds are and how that shapes their present experience.

Success in today's world is determined more than ever before by how well a leader works with and interacts with self and others.

The true joys and impacts of leadership come when we "leave the airport bar" and embrace the wonders, diversity, and multi-dimensional world that we "flew to" when we said "yes" to being a leader.

NAVIGATING TRAUMA & CRISIS SO YOU END UP THRIVING

Navigating Trauma & Crisis So You End Up Thriving

It seems that often our human tendency when going through crisis or trauma is to fixate on the "Why"--why is this happening? Why me? Why do I have to go through this?" I have a propensity for that question.

Then I remember Rabbi Harold Kushner's response. In his book "When Bad Things Happy to Good People" he tells the story of losing his young son to a degenerative disease. In the midst of his painful loss, he too asked "Why?" And then at some point in his grieving, he realized that ultimately the more important question was, "Now that this has happened, what am I going to do about it?" That question, focusing away from the past into the future's possibilities changed his life. 

Those who become stronger through crisis and trauma are those who find meaning from it, a sense of renewed purpose--it's the "what now" mentality.

Notice the benefits listed by Lisa Zigarmi & Davia Larson in their article in the link below:

• An increased sense of your own strength and capacities to prevail.

• Improved relationships with others, including a greater sense of belonging.

• A greater sense of compassion.

• And an increased sense of purpose and appreciation for life.

An Harvard Business Review article provides a profound framework (the Post-Traumatic Growth process) for making meaning out of difficult times. It describes a helpful tool to use with yourself, with your teams, with other groups you belong to, even with your family. I'm using this process in my own life as I chart my path forward during these times. https://lnkd.in/ga5f-Vk.

SELF CARE IS NOT A LUXURY, IT'S A MANDATE

Especially during this work-at-home pandemic (Thank You, COVID-19), it's easy to get confused about taking breaks to pay attention to our mental health and overall self care. We might be tempted to feel guilty if we're not working long hours every day, maybe even on the weekends. Or we might be tempted to see our amazing attention to productivity and its corresponding busyness as a badge of honor, a symbol of how important and necessary we are. 

But unfortunately, with either of those approaches, the foundation of our self worth and self esteem get all confused and mixed up. We end up believing the lie that our worth and value come from what we produce rather than who we are as human beings. 

And our wellbeing and resilience lose. 

That's why I love a meme I put together showing a sleeping kitten with the caption by Liane Davey:

Investing in your resilience isn't indulgent; it's mission-critical.

What a pithy reminder. When you and I invest in our self care, it isn't a luxury, it's a mandate. It's perhaps one of the most countercultural, courageous acts we can engage in.

We cannot achieve our full humanity with its glorious potential without taking intentional times to stop (what I call strategic stops) for rest, recovery, having fun, building our healthy relationships, investing in the social causes that inspire us, and paying attention to our emotional and physical lives, too.

Liane Davey, in her recent article in the Harvard Business Review, gives this challenge to the leaders of every organization:

It’s time to take those hackneyed words, 'our people are our greatest asset,' to heart. If you are an important asset, how could depriving, devaluing, and depreciating that asset by running it in harsh conditions, powering it with improper fuel, and neglecting routine maintenance possibly be good for your organization? Let’s cut to the chase: It’s not! ... From now on, tell yourself, 'It’s so busy at work right now, I can’t afford NOT to take care of myself!'"

If you have the courage to do this for yourself, it will be powerful evidence that you are a great leader! And that kind of modeling and permission-giving will empower the people around you. And you'll have the energy to engage in the mission of your organization in creative, innovative, and bold ways. Everyone wins!

How To Stay Centered and Grounded in a Time of Upheaval, Stress and Anxiety

We are living in such high emotion and intense feeling times! I read today that crises go through three stages: emergency phase, regression phase, and recovery phase. Specific emotions are involved with each phase; and we all tend to go through the phases sometimes at different times. No wonder it's so challenging to navigate our relationships not just with the people we know but with people we meet along the way, whether on Facebook and social media or beyond. Tempers rise, anger increases, anxiety and uncertainty increase our stress, and we can invariably lash out - we're feeling caged in, sometimes attacked by others, feeling misunderstood by some, violated or judged or diminished. Our feelings these days are intensified! We're all experiencing this.

We have to make use of the tools at our disposal in order to manage our stress, anxiety, and big feelings! If we don't manage, we will be managed. Just look around our society these days and see the glaring results. 

I've been thinking a lot the last few months about what practices and tools we can access to help us manage our feelings proactively and effectively. I put together a playlist in my youtube channel of 5 simple practices we can leverage - breathing, body movement, gratitude, meditation, and taking one day at a time. I'm getting good response from people about these short videos. These are really useful, scientifically-proven ways to manage our stress and anxiety. I'd love to have you access them and let me know what you think and feel with them. Hope you enjoy it!

And let's all be as intentional as we can to lower the emotional temperature all round us, including inside of us. We can do it. And we can encourage each other toward that place of groundedness in more peace and calm.

LEADERS NEED THEIR FEELINGS, TOO - WHAT DO YOU WANT TO FEEL MORE OF DURING THIS CRISIS?

Every year I choose three feeling words that I want to feel more of during the year. I love doing this because it empowers me to be more intentional with my focus and my intentions. And with so much attention having to be given to surviving this coronavirus pandemic, I realize I need to stop often to focus on what empowers not just to survive but also to thrive emotionally, relationally, spiritually, and even physically.

My 2020 Feeling Words are Creative, Ease, Prosperous. Here's the way I define them:

I choose to feel CREATIVE - Unleashing my creative imagination, I fully express my self, my life, and my work. 

One of the big intentions for this word this year is to share more music in my work and life. Music has always been a huge way of expressing my self through the years. So I intend to use my music more. And I intend to take more "music baths" every day when I bathe my whole personhood in my favorite music.

I choose to feel EASE - Like the ebb and flow of the tides and the soaring of the eagle, I relax into the current of my life and work.

Sometimes, as a solopreneur and independent contractor, having to pay attention to all the varied logistics of running a business, I have felt "bogged down" and at times "overwhelmed" and "unrelaxed" with all the details. This word reminds me to do whatever it takes to partner with, collaborate with others who love doing the logistics ... so I can concentrate on the work I am called to do and love doing. I choose to "relax" into my "ease" more this year.

I choose to feel PROSPEROUS - I luxuriate in the flourishing and abundance of my life, work, and wealth.

Obviously not knowing on New Years day what lay ahead for our world with a pandemic coming, taking away much work and opportunities for financial sustainability, I realize this will be a more challenging word to feel. And yet, I'm reminded of the tremendous amount of "prosperity" I enjoy even in the midst of this crisis - my health and vitality, family, friends, people who believe in me and support and encourage me, and even the work I do have. Though money may be scarce right now and the coming months, I choose to feel "prosperous" in all these ways. Gratitude elevates this feeling word for me. So I will continue to step into gratitude in every way possible.

Feelings are the most powerful and effective motivators and creators of our behavior. If we start with what we want and choose to feel, our actions will more easily align and help create opportunities to feel them. 

What do you want to feel more of this year? What specific intentions can you identify that will help you feel those words more? Even in the midst of our domestic and global crisis, we can choose to feel more of what we truly want I order to be our best and fullest selves. We can choose to take strategic stops to pay attention to our feeling words, to remind ourselves of more of the fulness of our human selves. Nothing can take that away from us!