THE KEYS TO LASTING RESILIENCE

I was talking to a Healthcare executive today who owns an electric car. He made a very profound observation--the car is state of the art; but it's of no use unless it gets plugged in regularly. No renewed energy, no usefulness. It will limp down the road or be parked in the garage.

Building effective and lasting resilience is fairly simple: crack the energy code = pay intentional, strategic attention to what positively energizes you and then do them, often. Build your life around them.

Like:

• use your strengths.

• Know yourself and be true to yourself.

• Know your circadian rhythm and live by it.

• Focus on your purpose--why you're doing what you do.

• Express appreciation to yourself and others.

• Faithfully keep a gratitude list.

• Surround yourself with mutual social support.

• Speak up when it's important to you.

• Check items off your To Do list.

• Do something nice to someone else.

• Take meaningful breaks during the day.

• Day dream and do nothing at times.
  
  And the list goes on and on. The key is to make sure you’re doing what positively energizes and rebuilds your lagging spirit.
  
  Resilience doesn't come to us automatically and magically. We are the driver of our own unique resilience car. So let's make sure we're plugging in regularly and strategically.

EFFECTIVE RECOVERY IS MORE THAN JUST REST

Anyone feeling tired? How do we recover our energy during these exhausting days in a world that is speeding nonstop?

Recovery in our day-to-day busy lives means more than stopping. It's a dynamic & personal process that aims at restoring our energetic resources. And it's conceivably different with all of us--what will work for me might not work for you because our unique physiology, psychology and current life needs are different.

So here are some examples of personalized questions we can ask ourselves in order to shape effective authentic recovery:

1. What kind of rest do I most need right now--a short power nap, a music bath, a brisk walk around the building?

2. Do I need to work on some limiting beliefs that are draining energy from my life, or to change my self-talk in specific ways?

3. Do I need a few minutes of guided meditation? Or do I need to sit comfortably in silence?

4. Do I need a weekend filled with social activities or more alone time, or projects around the house, or relaxation, or more sleep, or reading fun books, or going for a hike in nature?

Recovery requires strategic self regulation and dynamic choices. Which of those needs appeals to you most in the midst of your busyness and feeling drained?

If you would like more content on this topic of strategic recovery, check out Chapter Two in my book “The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your Life in a World Obsessed with Busyness.” It’s available in Amazon and other book stores.

NAVIGATING TRAUMA & CRISIS SO YOU END UP THRIVING

Navigating Trauma & Crisis So You End Up Thriving

It seems that often our human tendency when going through crisis or trauma is to fixate on the "Why"--why is this happening? Why me? Why do I have to go through this?" I have a propensity for that question.

Then I remember Rabbi Harold Kushner's response. In his book "When Bad Things Happy to Good People" he tells the story of losing his young son to a degenerative disease. In the midst of his painful loss, he too asked "Why?" And then at some point in his grieving, he realized that ultimately the more important question was, "Now that this has happened, what am I going to do about it?" That question, focusing away from the past into the future's possibilities changed his life. 

Those who become stronger through crisis and trauma are those who find meaning from it, a sense of renewed purpose--it's the "what now" mentality.

Notice the benefits listed by Lisa Zigarmi & Davia Larson in their article in the link below:

• An increased sense of your own strength and capacities to prevail.

• Improved relationships with others, including a greater sense of belonging.

• A greater sense of compassion.

• And an increased sense of purpose and appreciation for life.

An Harvard Business Review article provides a profound framework (the Post-Traumatic Growth process) for making meaning out of difficult times. It describes a helpful tool to use with yourself, with your teams, with other groups you belong to, even with your family. I'm using this process in my own life as I chart my path forward during these times. https://lnkd.in/ga5f-Vk.

SELF CARE IS NOT A LUXURY, IT'S A MANDATE

Especially during this work-at-home pandemic (Thank You, COVID-19), it's easy to get confused about taking breaks to pay attention to our mental health and overall self care. We might be tempted to feel guilty if we're not working long hours every day, maybe even on the weekends. Or we might be tempted to see our amazing attention to productivity and its corresponding busyness as a badge of honor, a symbol of how important and necessary we are. 

But unfortunately, with either of those approaches, the foundation of our self worth and self esteem get all confused and mixed up. We end up believing the lie that our worth and value come from what we produce rather than who we are as human beings. 

And our wellbeing and resilience lose. 

That's why I love a meme I put together showing a sleeping kitten with the caption by Liane Davey:

Investing in your resilience isn't indulgent; it's mission-critical.

What a pithy reminder. When you and I invest in our self care, it isn't a luxury, it's a mandate. It's perhaps one of the most countercultural, courageous acts we can engage in.

We cannot achieve our full humanity with its glorious potential without taking intentional times to stop (what I call strategic stops) for rest, recovery, having fun, building our healthy relationships, investing in the social causes that inspire us, and paying attention to our emotional and physical lives, too.

Liane Davey, in her recent article in the Harvard Business Review, gives this challenge to the leaders of every organization:

It’s time to take those hackneyed words, 'our people are our greatest asset,' to heart. If you are an important asset, how could depriving, devaluing, and depreciating that asset by running it in harsh conditions, powering it with improper fuel, and neglecting routine maintenance possibly be good for your organization? Let’s cut to the chase: It’s not! ... From now on, tell yourself, 'It’s so busy at work right now, I can’t afford NOT to take care of myself!'"

If you have the courage to do this for yourself, it will be powerful evidence that you are a great leader! And that kind of modeling and permission-giving will empower the people around you. And you'll have the energy to engage in the mission of your organization in creative, innovative, and bold ways. Everyone wins!

How To Stay Centered and Grounded in a Time of Upheaval, Stress and Anxiety

We are living in such high emotion and intense feeling times! I read today that crises go through three stages: emergency phase, regression phase, and recovery phase. Specific emotions are involved with each phase; and we all tend to go through the phases sometimes at different times. No wonder it's so challenging to navigate our relationships not just with the people we know but with people we meet along the way, whether on Facebook and social media or beyond. Tempers rise, anger increases, anxiety and uncertainty increase our stress, and we can invariably lash out - we're feeling caged in, sometimes attacked by others, feeling misunderstood by some, violated or judged or diminished. Our feelings these days are intensified! We're all experiencing this.

We have to make use of the tools at our disposal in order to manage our stress, anxiety, and big feelings! If we don't manage, we will be managed. Just look around our society these days and see the glaring results. 

I've been thinking a lot the last few months about what practices and tools we can access to help us manage our feelings proactively and effectively. I put together a playlist in my youtube channel of 5 simple practices we can leverage - breathing, body movement, gratitude, meditation, and taking one day at a time. I'm getting good response from people about these short videos. These are really useful, scientifically-proven ways to manage our stress and anxiety. I'd love to have you access them and let me know what you think and feel with them. Hope you enjoy it!

And let's all be as intentional as we can to lower the emotional temperature all round us, including inside of us. We can do it. And we can encourage each other toward that place of groundedness in more peace and calm.