Self Reflection is not a Luxury or Option for Successful People

When is the last time you sat in stillness and reflected on who you are and how you are showing up in the world these days?

If there's ever a need for developing the art of self-reflection it's during these chaotic, uncertain times. The irony is that taking this time is actually counter-intuitive. We think we simply don't have the "extra" time--we are inundated with so many To Do's. We are tempted to look at self-reflection as a luxury or at best an option.

We live at a time in history in which we are literally bombarded with information of all kinds on a daily basis, Everyone and everything are competing for our attention. and now, with smartphones, we are never away from this assault. Consequently, we experience a kind of mental overload, overstimulation, and exhaustion.

“How can I ever take time to spend in quiet self-reflection? I don't have that time!”

When in fact, unless we take this time, we remain stagnant and in the end less creatively productive.

Our greatest personal power resides in self-reflection. Stepping back to see through the information smog to discern what is truly important gives us a clearer self-awareness so we can be grounded and centered in our authentic identity.

Here’s the truth: we skip this practice and pay the painful price of superficiality and mediocrity. Why? Because our greatest power resides in self-reflection that leads to authentic expression.

Learn to SEE you and then BE you. Then you will truly change the world. DO you.

Quote taken from Dr. Greg Nelson, "The Strategic Stop: Taking Back Your Life in a World Obsessed with Busyness." Available via Amazon: https://lnkd.in/d3r3nhn. A great gift to yourself and to people who matter to you at work and at home.

SELF CARE IS NOT A LUXURY, IT'S A MANDATE

Especially during this work-at-home pandemic (Thank You, COVID-19), it's easy to get confused about taking breaks to pay attention to our mental health and overall self care. We might be tempted to feel guilty if we're not working long hours every day, maybe even on the weekends. Or we might be tempted to see our amazing attention to productivity and its corresponding busyness as a badge of honor, a symbol of how important and necessary we are. 

But unfortunately, with either of those approaches, the foundation of our self worth and self esteem get all confused and mixed up. We end up believing the lie that our worth and value come from what we produce rather than who we are as human beings. 

And our wellbeing and resilience lose. 

That's why I love a meme I put together showing a sleeping kitten with the caption by Liane Davey:

Investing in your resilience isn't indulgent; it's mission-critical.

What a pithy reminder. When you and I invest in our self care, it isn't a luxury, it's a mandate. It's perhaps one of the most countercultural, courageous acts we can engage in.

We cannot achieve our full humanity with its glorious potential without taking intentional times to stop (what I call strategic stops) for rest, recovery, having fun, building our healthy relationships, investing in the social causes that inspire us, and paying attention to our emotional and physical lives, too.

Liane Davey, in her recent article in the Harvard Business Review, gives this challenge to the leaders of every organization:

It’s time to take those hackneyed words, 'our people are our greatest asset,' to heart. If you are an important asset, how could depriving, devaluing, and depreciating that asset by running it in harsh conditions, powering it with improper fuel, and neglecting routine maintenance possibly be good for your organization? Let’s cut to the chase: It’s not! ... From now on, tell yourself, 'It’s so busy at work right now, I can’t afford NOT to take care of myself!'"

If you have the courage to do this for yourself, it will be powerful evidence that you are a great leader! And that kind of modeling and permission-giving will empower the people around you. And you'll have the energy to engage in the mission of your organization in creative, innovative, and bold ways. Everyone wins!

It's All About Energy Management!

Higher Demands, Less Energy The American culture is becoming increasingly a place of higher demands.  Employers are trying to squeeze more and more from their employees.  Expectations for productivity are higher than ever.  Competition is fiercer than ever.  And compensation isn't keeping up with the demands.

The average American worker is not only given less annual vacation time than counterparts around the world, he or she actually takes less of this time than the others.  Americans are working harder and longer than ever before.

A consistent theme I hear from the leaders and senior managers I coach is the insane amount of work they are engaging in on a daily basis - almost to the point of complete breakdown.  And they all feel somewhat trapped in this never-ending cycle.  It is definitely not a sustainable strategy.

Energy Is Renewable

One of the things I've learned is that life is all about energy management.  Truth is, time is a finite resource.  But energy is renewable.  We all have the opportunity to make choices that can actually increase our energy.  It all depends on how we manage this amazing resource.

I read a profound article in the Harvard Business Review written by Tony Schwartz and Catherine McCarthy, "Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time" (Oct. 2007).  In the article, they suggest that "energy comes from four main wellsprings in human beings: the body, emotions, mind, and spirit. In each, energy can be systematically expanded and regularly renewed by establishing specific rituals— behaviors that are intentionally practiced and precisely scheduled, with the goal of making them unconscious and automatic as quickly as possible."

I love this perspective because it provides hope that we all have it within our power to do something about our energy which is so often lagging and drooping from the incessant demands we face regularly:  we can learn to recognize the energy-depleting behaviors / activities we engage in; and we can learn what instead energizes us and so develop ways to more intentionally step into those.

It's all about energy management.

How Strengths Renew Energy

This is why I coach and consult people and organizations around strengths.  Strengths are in fact wired into us - they are our natural preferences - innate talents that come from the natural flow of electricity (energy) via certain neural pathways (each one leading to certain specific behaviors).  Because of the chemicals released in these pathways, the pathways become ingrained in us.  If they're our natural preference pathways, they're pleasant for us to stimulate so we tend to stimulate them more than others.  And the more we use them, the more we strengthen them.  It's a powerful feedback loop.

So when we pay attention to what our natural strengths are, and when we choose to use them more intentionally, we are putting ourselves in an energy flow that is not only more efficient and fulfilling but also more sustainable, renewable.  Using our innate resources (like strengths) actually increases energy because it's aligning with our unique individual biology - it's stewarding our brains effectively by leveraging those neural pathways with their accompanying electricity and chemicals.

When we are not using our natural preferences, according to neuroscientists our brains are actually expending 100x the energy than when we're leading with our natural preferences (our innate wiring and talents).  One hundred times!  So instead of making deposits, we're making massive withdrawals from our energy bank unnecessarily.  Our brains are wearing out.  And consequently, our whole feeling of energy lags and droops.  We're not being "fully alive."

It's all about energy management.

Take the StrengthsFinder Assessment

If you  haven't taken the strengthsfinder assessment yet to discover your top natural strength preferences, you need to!  There are two ways to take the test:  buy the book StrengthsFinder 2.0 from Amazon for $14.00, or go directly online to the Gallup site, pay $9.99, and take the test.  What a small price to pay to radically increase your ability to renew your energy!

My work as a coach and consultant is to unpack these results for people and organizations.  I give them opportunity to think through and strategize how they can be more intentional about using their strengths in every aspect of their lives - work, relationships, spirituality.  When people take this work seriously and really engage via their strengths, the results are always amazing - people have more energy, more fulfillment, more effective productivity, less stress, more of a feeling of flow, more of being, as Schwartz and McCarthy describe, "effortlessly absorbed."  Who wouldn't want all that??

It's all about energy management.

It's time for people to stop trying to simply work harder and start working smarter.  Leverage your natural preferences, your strengths.  Let your brain work effectively and efficiently the way it was designed to.  Learn what makes you unique from everyone else.  And then embrace it, step into it, stand in your truth, and let yourself be the powerful person you are.  Develop a truly sustainable life.

You want more energy?  Try managing and stewarding the energy you have.  I guarantee:  you'll find your energy is in deed a renewable resource.

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If you or someone you know in your organization is looking for keynote speakers or workshop teachers for events in your company, congregation, or association gatherings, I would be happy to come speak on this theme or others like it.  And interested in strengths coaching?  Feel free to email me at greg@gregorypnelson.com.