Authenticity Is Your Key to Your Greatest Joy & Impact

One of the great memories of my adult life took place in the middle of Kansas. I was driving my family in our Ford van to a cabin down by Shuttle Creek Lake (a place we enjoyed getting away to from time to time during our Lincoln, NE days). As we drove up to the edge of the plateau that wound it's way down to the lakeside, the view across the lake was stunning. It always made me feel like I was back in the Puget Sound region near Seattle, looking across a large body of water with rising hills in the background.

I was listening to John Barry's Movie Themes recording (one of my favorites). The music was so evocative as only his music can be. Descending the hill, I suddenly saw a picnic table off the road with a perfect view. I reacted almost immediately, instinctively, from deep within my soul, without rational thought. I stopped, opened up the van doors, turned the music volume up REALLY loud, got out of the van and jumped up on top of the picnic table. I began waving my arms and hands to the rhythm and feeling of the music, completely lost in myself, as though I was being possessed by the orchestra conductor.

My kids were watching, their mouths ajar. "Dad has really lost it this time," I'm sure they must have been thinking.

But in that moment, and to this current moment, that experience of totally losing myself in the scene and the music and spontaneously acting it out without fear, shame, or second thoughts, is one of the most authentic and deeply joyful memories of my life. I was completely unobstructed by cultural pressure and expectations. I simply was being Me, expressing Me from my depths.

e e cummings is so right. We live in a world that is constantly trying to mold us into its sense of right and expectation.

To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody but yourself - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight - and never stop fighting.”

Be more of this, Be more of that, Don't be this, Don't be that. Dial it down. Dial it up. And before we know it, we've lost our true, most authentic selves. And we end up losing our deepest joy and greatest impact.

Your authenticity is your place of greatest joy, fulfillment, confidence, power, and influence. Don't be molded by others. Be yourself. The world needs you to be YOU! And if you want to know what that Self of yours is, this is the work I do all the time. It's one of my greatest joys, esp when John Barry music is playing in the background. 😉

How to Break the Code of Positive Energy to Handle Stress

I've learned in my own experience that one of the keys to establishing resilience and stress management is to break the code of positive energy - learning how to hack our built-in "feel good and strong" neurochemicals that our brain releases into our body system.

Here's a list I came across of those chemicals and some simple activities you can engage in to experience their release throughout your brain and body.

Keep this list handy. Resilience and managing stress don't appear magically. We need to be intentional about accessing them via strategic stops in our busy lives. 😀

For example, one of my energy boosts is completing a task on my To Do list - when I check that "baby" off as Done I get a shot of dopamine feel good energy. And even if, upon review of my list, I realize that I completed something that wasn't on my list, I add it and then check it off. It always shoots me some dopamine. Love it!

For another example, I had a reader write me about this list, asking the question, “Where does playing a musical instrument fit into these four categories?” Great question!

If I’m practicing my piano I’m getting dopamine (being rewarded for my practice) or endorphin (the pain killer boost). If I’m playing for my mood I’m getting seratonin (the mood stabilizer). If I’m singing to my wife I’m getting oxytocin (the love hormone) and giving her an oxy boost too! Who knew music could be an all-encompassing chemical shot in the arm.

Have you noticed how any of these activities listed in the four categories have made you feel? Experiment to see what happens to your positive energy? What kind of a boost do you get? How does that activity make you feel? Are there other activities not on this list that might even combine all four neurochemicals as a boost to you?

Have fun with this chart! Remember, resilience and stress management, as well as happiness, don’t happen magically. You have the opportunity to be intentional about accessing those built-in boosts. So take some strategic stops away from the nonstop busyness and stresses of your life to give yourself a shot of “feel good” energy. You deserve a break today!

THE KEYS TO LASTING RESILIENCE

I was talking to a Healthcare executive today who owns an electric car. He made a very profound observation--the car is state of the art; but it's of no use unless it gets plugged in regularly. No renewed energy, no usefulness. It will limp down the road or be parked in the garage.

Building effective and lasting resilience is fairly simple: crack the energy code = pay intentional, strategic attention to what positively energizes you and then do them, often. Build your life around them.

Like:

• use your strengths.

• Know yourself and be true to yourself.

• Know your circadian rhythm and live by it.

• Focus on your purpose--why you're doing what you do.

• Express appreciation to yourself and others.

• Faithfully keep a gratitude list.

• Surround yourself with mutual social support.

• Speak up when it's important to you.

• Check items off your To Do list.

• Do something nice to someone else.

• Take meaningful breaks during the day.

• Day dream and do nothing at times.
  
  And the list goes on and on. The key is to make sure you’re doing what positively energizes and rebuilds your lagging spirit.
  
  Resilience doesn't come to us automatically and magically. We are the driver of our own unique resilience car. So let's make sure we're plugging in regularly and strategically.

SELF CARE IS NOT A LUXURY, IT'S A MANDATE

Especially during this work-at-home pandemic (Thank You, COVID-19), it's easy to get confused about taking breaks to pay attention to our mental health and overall self care. We might be tempted to feel guilty if we're not working long hours every day, maybe even on the weekends. Or we might be tempted to see our amazing attention to productivity and its corresponding busyness as a badge of honor, a symbol of how important and necessary we are. 

But unfortunately, with either of those approaches, the foundation of our self worth and self esteem get all confused and mixed up. We end up believing the lie that our worth and value come from what we produce rather than who we are as human beings. 

And our wellbeing and resilience lose. 

That's why I love a meme I put together showing a sleeping kitten with the caption by Liane Davey:

Investing in your resilience isn't indulgent; it's mission-critical.

What a pithy reminder. When you and I invest in our self care, it isn't a luxury, it's a mandate. It's perhaps one of the most countercultural, courageous acts we can engage in.

We cannot achieve our full humanity with its glorious potential without taking intentional times to stop (what I call strategic stops) for rest, recovery, having fun, building our healthy relationships, investing in the social causes that inspire us, and paying attention to our emotional and physical lives, too.

Liane Davey, in her recent article in the Harvard Business Review, gives this challenge to the leaders of every organization:

It’s time to take those hackneyed words, 'our people are our greatest asset,' to heart. If you are an important asset, how could depriving, devaluing, and depreciating that asset by running it in harsh conditions, powering it with improper fuel, and neglecting routine maintenance possibly be good for your organization? Let’s cut to the chase: It’s not! ... From now on, tell yourself, 'It’s so busy at work right now, I can’t afford NOT to take care of myself!'"

If you have the courage to do this for yourself, it will be powerful evidence that you are a great leader! And that kind of modeling and permission-giving will empower the people around you. And you'll have the energy to engage in the mission of your organization in creative, innovative, and bold ways. Everyone wins!

TWO REASONS WHY SLEEP IS A LEADERSHIP REQUIREMENT

It’s amazing how often some of the leaders I work with look at sleep as a luxury at best and an unnecessary inconvenience at worst. It’s as though they see sleep as an interruption to the important work they’re doing. Some have actually bragged to me about how little sleep they need and take for themselves, as though this is a badge of honor of some kind.

Let me suggest to you two reasons why sleep is a vital leadership requirement.

First, a physiological reason. Good leadership requires creativity and curiosity, both of which come from deep thinking. And the practice that most profoundly enhances deep thinking is the practice of daily adequate sleep.

In sleep, our brains clean out toxins, process the day’s experiences, and work on problems that have been occupying our waking minds. (Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, “Rest", p. 140.)

And look at what happens what we don’t get enough sleep.

Being chronically tired to the point of fatigue or exhaustion means that we are less likely to perform well. Neurons do not fire optimally, muscles are not rested, and the body’s organ systems are not synchronized. (A study from the Division of Sleep Medicine, Harvard Medical School)

This is a no-brainer when we stop long enough to think about it. Sleep is an absolute requirement for those who want to be effective and transformational leaders. Our bodies are designed during sleep to recover, rebuild, restore, and reignite the most important parts of our selves needed to empower successful leadership. We simply cannot use the excuse of multiple and challenging demands at work to deprioritize regular sleep.

And second, a financial reason. The lack of sleep among both leaders and employees is having a deeply negative outcome in the workplace and in the company. The actual financial costs being generated from sleep deprivation is staggering.

Today, so many of us fall into this trap of sacrificing sleep in the name of productivity. But, ironically, our loss of sleep, despite the extra hours we put in at work, adds up to more than eleven days of lost productivity per year per worker. This results in a total annual cost of sleep deprivation to the US economy of more than $63 billion, in the form of absenteeism and presenteeism (when employees are present at work physically but not really mentally focused). (Arianna Huffington, “The Sleep Revolution”)

Leaders who think they can get away with little to no sleep on a regular basis are deluding themselves and by their example are costing their companies millions of dollars. So much for fiduciary responsibility.

Contrary to some opinions, regular sleep isn’t just some luxury for those who have the time and leisure. It’s not an experience that the high performers and uber-productive people in our midst can simply choose to neglect or cut corners on. Sleep, as the original strategic stop, is a fundamental and vital aspect of maintaining necessary human resilience. And as leaders, we need this priority for ourselves, for our employees, and for our organizations.